It’s been a while since we devoted an entire post just to Sam Heughan. I know, I know. How could we neglect him SO MUCH? It’s like we didn’t make an special birthday video for him, or he doesn’t seep into every other post we make, or every Boozy Book Club video or a vast majority of our tweets. God, Sam. Leave us alone.

 Anyway, since it’s been so long since we acknowledged Sam’s existence, we thought it might be time for a real quick Sam Heughan catch up. Whatcha been doing, Jamie Fraser?

 

Taking a Kilt Stroll

Grant O’Rourke who’s portraying Rupert in the TV series totally bamboozled Sam with promises of Guiness and whisky chasers into wearing really uncomfortable boots to walk what was supposed to be 6 miles but in Scotland-speak, turned out to be 37.3 kilometers. Sam gave up 3/8ths of the way through. To chase some whisky.

Whoever took this pic has an itchy trigger finger, and missed Sam’s signature double thumbs up. Alllllmost …. nope. Oh well.

 

But look how manly and awesome the whole group looks. Dang. Am I supposed to be more attracted to Dougal and Murtagh than I am Jamie? This might prove problematic.

Kiltwalk pic source

 

 

Instagrammed without a Hat

If Sam was in charge of his own selfie schedule anymore, this would never have happened. But since his current look and whereabouts are under studio lock and key, the only instagramming we get is when Starz decides to throw something out there to confuse us.

Again, with the Deep Vee. Thick hoodie strings and deep vees are to Sam like pajama pants and bralessness are to me. Pure comfort. I’ve decided it’s less that Sam’s necklines are rapidly disappearing, and instead it’s more like his chest has just expanded beyond their reach like a newly nursing mother and her old Gap tank tops. But new moms have lactation consultants to help them handle their new pillowy weight, and Sam just has his old footie shirts and a dumb roommate who won’t tell him the truth before he walks out the door. This one actually looks like he probably has a girlfriend* who wants the grandma contingent to be jealous of her so she just cut his crewneck off. It’s the upper body version of jorts. Pectorts.

And that hair. Sam would never selfie in that hair. It looks pulled back AND blown out which is something the grandma contingent might remember doing in 1967, but that they haven’t done SINCE then. I miss the beanie.

Other than that … (he should have just been shirtless) I am highly A OK with everything in this picture. I just miss the days of double thumbs ups, aviator glasses and hatted selfies.

*he totally has a girlfriend and she hates/loves to make fun of all of us

 

Making Horrible Retweets

You would think that an accidental retweet from a celebrated writer/director wouldn’t RUIN Sam’s chances at a leisurely Sunday or a part in the next critically acclaimed film from the director of Filth, but you’d think wrong.

During Sunday’s tennis match with Andy Murray, Sam retweeted the following from Irvine Welsh, author of Trainspotting and Filth:

Which … was ill-advised. Considering the amount of female followship that Sam has who HANG ON HIS EVERY WORD (what weirdos, who would do that???) Sam and Mr. Welsh got quite a few enraged feminists filling up their feeds. Sam quickly deleted the retweet and apologized because he is a class act and a sweetheart.

But Irvine, who no doubt uses language like this on the reg to no consequence, was suddenly fully engaged with several Outlander fans about sexism, misogyny, rape culture and language while he was yanno … trying to watch some sports. IN NO WAY do I intend to defend his use of those words, but I do want to point out one probable repercussion from this little twitter NOT SO tete-a-tete (tweet-a-tweet?). At some point, he probably looked to the source of all that focused rage and decided, “Welp, that @Heughan is a total C***.”

Sorry your big fingers got you into trouble, Sam. There are better uses for them. #pilloryjokes

 

Being Not-Jamie

Remember when Sam was first cast last July and he was dark headed and in Norway filming some movie? That movie was Heart of Lightness, and other than a few glimpses in the trailers we haven’t see much of Sam in it. This clip went up on Facebook recently and showed Sam’s not-so-red hair, his jawline, some of his acting skills and [SURPRISE] his thick hoodie strings.

“But Jamie hates boats!!! How dare he play a character on a boat.” /irrational Outlander fan logic

 gif source

 

Chatting with me

Remember when we ironically asked Sam for a sickness shout out because I was in the emergency room, and he legit replied???? I do. Because then I replied back with sarcastic hashtags like any sane person.

But then remember a few days later when this happened?

I know, I know. If you would like to come sit near me and soak up my aura of sezzy twitter juju, I will be holding a raffle later for non-crazies. That’s close enough. No stop there. (Also, I’m looking for a new housekeeper, so feel free to send in your resumes if you use green cleaning products and have experience with sweaty man boots.)

 

Purposefully ignoring Double-entendres

Sam: New Album “La petite mort”! Love Curse Curse.

Susan [being a dirty bird]: feeling that album title right now

Tim Booth, the artist [playing along]: lucky you

Sam [not playing along]: had the album on repeat for days now!

Susan [giving it her best shot]: that is many little deaths for a man in his 30s

Sam: …

Sam: Can’t wait to see you guys on tour!

Susan and I can’t decide if Sam is playing oblivious here or if he actually HAS a clue but also a girlfriend he doesn’t want to piss off. I say the latter. Help us come to a conclusion.

 

Writing auto-biographical fanfiction

Sam, I know you got really excited when you heard that you can write real-person-fic about yourself, but getting it published this fast was really not the best idea. Get a following online first.

And IVA BIGGUN? That’s a ridiculous pseudonym, even for you.

*thanks for Rebekah Galyon-Grogan for finding this GEM

 

So, that’s what Sam has been up to the past couple of weeks. I’m sure he’s also probably filming Outlander and doing the occasional on-set interview. I’m sure what’s really taking up most of his time is planning what he’s going to wear the next time he sees us. String cheese thick hoodie strings are verboten.

 

Catch up with me, Nikki and Bekah THIS MONDAY night, June 9th for our second (official) episode of Talking Outlander … which really needs a better title. We will be talking about MOBY excitement, show news and MORE. Check out the first one here.

 

And a real quick shout out to everyone at the Random House Fan event in Seattle right now. Wish we could be there to make tartan crafts and scrapbook pages and see Diana and get an early copy of MOBY too. Have a great time! And if you aren’t there, they are apparently doing a live stream of the important stuff (still not sure what that is) at 12:30 EST today. Watch it here.