It’s time for another That’s Normal confession: we read a good deal of smut around these parts. And we read it in public places. Much like you do. But we can’t exactly pull out a paperback copy of After Hours or Doubled while we are waiting to pick up the kids, or on the GoTrain with our daily commuter friends. Seriously.

That’s what e-readers, iPads and phones are for.

However, it looks like the French have either less shame than us or … SURPRISE SURPRISE … better aesthetic sensibilities because these French covers are not ones that I would be embarrassed to read. I might even let my fellow cafe patrons believe I’m improving my mind with some late-18th-centry love poetry or some such nonsense.

So I give you, reasons it would be easier to be smut-reader in France (American covers on the left, French covers on the right):

Exhibit A: Kresley Cole’s Maccarrick Brothers

Americans: Only dirty, dirty Americans read this filth to get their Scottish sexy dude fix. Oh, you are into that sort of reading, huh? I bet ALL THE WORDS in that book are useless nakedness.

French: And on the right, a beautiful, turn of the century tale reminiscent of the wholesomeness of Anne of Green Gables. Que fascinating.

Exhibit B: The Angel by Tiffany Reisz

American: Some perverted American housewives reading bondage erotica with a horrific bonus of what is most likely suicidal tatttooing festishists. Not suitable for work or kids.

French: Oh, a lovely novel probably all about the soft, downy essence of some angelic presence in our lives. Or something else totes wholesome.

Exhibit C: The Rules of Scoundrels, by Sarah MacLean

American: Oh, did you buy that trash at the latest yard sale where the Girls from The Bachelor were getting rid of their vapid, poolside reads from the show?

French: Ah, did someone come out with a new cover for Vanity Fair? How lovely. BONUS: Helllllo, Bourne.

Exhibit D: Karen Moning’s Highlander Series

American: I bet that guy is naked under all that tartan, AND I bet they are naked all the time. How dare you show that filth out in the world and near my kids where I have to explain what goes on under tartan!

French: Hohohmmm, looks like you enjoy a little but of paranormal fiestyness with your apocalyptic tomes. I approve, mon cherie.

Exhibit E: Along Came Trouble by Ruthie Knox

American: THAT IS PORN. Nothing but porn. Keep that at home, not at Thanksgiving dinner.

French: Oh, look a lovely little scamp of a novel in the vein of classic movies with Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn. *unassuming chuckle*

Inside all of those side-by-side covers: THE SAME BOOKS. So, why are Americans shamed into reading them under the table at Panera or strictly on e-readers! Let’s start championing attractive covers for our trashy books!!!!! ONE FOR ALL AND ALL FOR SMUT.

This post was inspired by the very fine look at the French cover of Just One Year. Mmmmmm, Willem. Don’t think that I have forgotten we are getting more of you next week! (I haven’t)!