I’m hardcore into that Ice Dancing guy Charlie White. Whew, I feel better already just saying it. This is a first for me, I don’t think I’ve ever been into an athlete before. To be fair, I usually don’t pay enough attention to sports to know if there are any that I would like. True story: my favorite football team is the Ravens because I found out that they’re named after the Edgar Allen Poe poem. So, that’s the kind of sports fan I am. As such, it makes sense that the first athlete that I like is an Ice Dancer; I need to ease myself into this thing. Plus, I do love the Olympics, and figure skating is my favorite Winter event. So when I tuned in to watch the skating events this year, imagine my surprise when I spied this adorable little human puppy fancy man.
I had heard of Meryl Davis and Charlie White a bit before the Olympics started, when I saw them described on Tumblr as the Katniss and Peeta of figure skating. (It’s true.) But this was the first time I had ever really seen them in action. And BOOM: instant Charlie White crush. I then learned that he and Meryl were the favorites to win the gold medal in the Ice Dancing event. If you didn’t tune in, I’m very pleased to inform you that they rocked it and did indeed win. How could they not? They’re extremely talented and are basically a Disney prince and princess.
But then the Olympics were over and took my Charlie White away from me, so I did the obvious and Googled the crap out of him and watched all the Youtube videos I could. Some of what I discovered:
Smoldering!
In addition to their gold medal from Sochi, Meryl and Charlie also won the silver medal in Ice Dance at the Vancouver Olympics four years ago. Which I watched but totally don’t remember. Shame on you 2010 Jamie. But I do remember when I came across these pictures from some of their performances.
That is some sexy smoldering and meaningful glancing there, Charlie. I know it’s just for the performance and everything, but still. I looked at them for quite a long time. I’m still looking at them. I’m not okay.
Countless Videos!
Once I moved beyond pictures and waded into video territory I watched all of Charlie and Meryl’s performances on Youtube. They’ve been skating together for almost twenty years so there’s a ton to choose from, but I think this one is one of my favorites.
There are so many that are so good, you really should watch them all. You get to listen to the commentators talk about the quality of a move that’s actually, officially called a Twizzle. You can Twizzle your way right into my bed Charlie White.
Things that make me intensely, unreasonably angry!
Alas, Charlie has a girlfriend and they’ve been together for five years and seem really cute together. WHATEVER. I was obviously super mature about it and cried in the shower got on with my life like a normal person.
Terrible Sweaters!
Things I usually hate on men: turtlenecks. And white pants. But I’ll make an exception this one time because DAMN.
Concerning blade placement!
I emailed a friend of mine who used to ice skate about the very important matter of Meryl’s skate blades being so close to Charlie’s buisness.
And she never emailed me back! Can you believe it?! Apparently going to medical school must be taking up too much of her time or something. Clearly she ignored the part in the subject line of the email where I deemed this matter “of the upmost importance.” Rude.
Reality Shows!
As I was discovering all these fun things something oddly amazing happened. Charlie and Meryl were announced as contestants on “Dancing with the Stars.” Which is a show that I don’t usually watch, but you can bet that I’ve been watching this season. I’ve been voting, guys. Online and over the phone. So yeah, it’s bad. I’m emotionally invested in “Dancing with the Stars.” That’s the level I’m at here. Does a more pathetic level of crazed fangirling exist? It’s actually been pretty fun though. He had an awesome first routine that actually made me not roll my eyes at contemporary dance.
And during Disney week he did a Mary Poppins routine! When the episode started I said, “They better have the animated penguins,” and wouldn’t you know it, he danced with the animated penguins. He is clearly the man for me, how is he not sensing this? He’s so precious I want to die.
I realize that this picture is not very good, but it was the only one I could find of this particular moment during Charlie’s Paso Doble. The back and arm action here is doing things to me.
What are you doing to me man? I just want to punch you in your stupid, cute face for making me feel all these feelings. But then have snuggles…
This was therapeutic, I definitely needed to get all of that out there before I combusted. But it’s past 2AM now and I have to go to work in the morning, so I should really get some slee— OMG is that a picture of Charlie with his dog?!
Who is the weirdest, out of absolutely nowhere person that you’ve had a crush on? Does anyone who has knowledge of these things have information for me about the blade/crotch situation? I’m still concerned.
