Unfortunately for me, he has not read the books and like most things, likes to ask a million questions or generally just chat through them. Below is what I like to call Game of Thornes … or The Thornes Try to Watch Game of Thrones Together: It Does Not Go Well.
Preview of previous seasons’ stuff
Him: Why are they showing us this? Wasn’t this last season?
Him: That sword hilt would not come off that easily. Seriously. I have a machete in my shed with a hilt kind of like that and I had to …
Me: TV, Ryan. It’s TV.
Him: I have no idea what they are doing with that wolf pelt, other than ruining that steel.
Theme Music starts
Him: Going to warm up some nachos. You want anything?
Me: No, I got what I wanted before the show started.
Him: AH! Burned my finger.
Him: What did he say he wanted?
Me: “Supper.”
Him: Oh, yeah. Thought he said “sumpin’.”
Him: You think the show is all normal and then … boom, dragons.
Him: Ummmmm …. I forgot my nachos in the microwave. *dustcloud*
Him: This guy seems cool. I mean … don’t repeat that I said that.
This Moment
Him: LOUD INCESSANT LAUGHTER.
(So much so that I missed what happened next.)
Him: Oh shit. Cersei is you. You are Cersei. She is making no sense.
Brienne Walks By
Him: I don’t understand why they make her look so awkward and manly.
Camera Pans by Statue of Joffrey As King
Him: Who is that?
Me: That’s Joffrey.
Him: Who?
(This really happened)
Him: Oh man. I’m going to make some arrows tomorrow. We have chicken feathers.
Him: Remember that terrible movie you made me watch because you read the book? These guys look like those guys in that movie.
(He’s talking about I Am Number Four … the worst YA book adaptation of all time. But he’s right.)
Him: Remember that time when we were dating and I brought you a blue carnation? Pretty sure you made that same face.
Him: LOUD LITERAL LAUGHTER
(that keeps me from hearing what happens next)
Him: That’s it? I swear this show last 15 minutes, not an hour.
I know it seems like I made most of this up, but if anything, he is even MORE chatty than this. Most weeks I have to stop and explain various nuances of the book plot, or simply remind him WHO THE MAIN FREAKING CHARACTERS ARE. If only we’d had premium tv when we were dating I might have avoided this fate.
So, who did you watch Game of Thrones with Sunday night? Do you have a no talking pact? Should I make him sign one?
