Dear Sam,
(or should I refer to you by your full name … Samwise?)
It is your birthday. Welcome to 34. I’ve been there all of four months, and so far it’s tops. In case you don’t recall, Sam, (and how could you forget?) the last time we were together was the day I turned 34. Remember?
How could you forget when we shared this intimate moment? You were <— over there.
As a gift, I thought I would show you all the other cool folks that are a part of the coolest generation (ours) and were also born in 1980 (like us). In case you can’t tell, I’m making a big deal out of our shared birth year.
Oscar Isaac: one of my favorite actors who just got super cool AS OF yesterday by being in the new Star Wars. I mean, he was already cool because … 1980.
Yoda: Ok, technically Yoda was born “a long time ago,” but he first appeared in 1980, and that’s two Star Wars references in one birthday letter, so I’m out.
Harry Potter: That’s right. The Boy Who Lived was born July 31, 1980. If that doesn’t make us the coolest people alive, then maybe Ryan Gosling, Kristen Bell or JD Pardo can.
I really did wrack my brain trying to come up with the perfect gift for you, Sam. But what to get the King of Men who is plenty plied with peanut butter and gluten free baked goods already? I thought about sending you a couple of scarves and/or dickies to deal directly with your disappearing neckline issue.
This is getting out of hand. It’s like your pectoral girdle is ALLERGIC to FABRIC.
But then I figured as Jamie Fraser, you were well stocked in cravats by now.
And I couldn’t send you an original Jamie Fraser portrait as I’m not particularly skilled in photoshop. Although I did once create this masterpiece:
Photoshop Achievement: UNLOCKED
What can I say? We didn’t have any pics of you with red hair when I wrote that post. I had to do something.
No, my best skills lie in making sarcastic observations and giggling. And so, I present to you a very special, very normal That’s Normal birthday gift:
I don’t know why Bekah and I are holding two Pocket Jamies, but dude, you need to come out with an action figure already. Heughligans would go full-on Tickle Me Elmo for that shizz.
Seriously, happy birthday to one of the most genuine, sincere, earnest actors I’ve ever tweeted. We could not be more excited to see you bring Jamie Fraser to life, and to stalk you watch as you become a huge star. Just remember who first blogged about your awesomeness (before there were Heughligans) and told the naysayers to take a seat.
If you’d like to give all of us a reverse birthday gift, perhaps you could announce the Outlander premiere date (or just text it to me, kthx bb).
Have a fantastic year! Take a ton of selfies. Here’s hoping you don’t get iPhone arthritis in your right thumb like I am. God, 34 totally sucks.
All My Luibh-uisge,*
Beth
*look it up or #AskAdhamh
Did you not know it was Sam’s birthday? Did you forget to sign his MASSIVE birthday card from the fans? Tell him happy birthday in the comments (I’ll text him your half-assed greeting later when we go to bed).
