How Do You De-Internet?

The Internet is a vast and wonderful place, filled with horrors and delights alike, not to mention friends like you all! But…sometimes you just have to escape. You know the feeling: using #hashtags #in #daily #life, thinking in 140 witty characters, and waiting for notifications to roll in. I even have a serious case of the phantom phone buzz right now. Without further ado, here are my favorite ways to de-Internet, posted here on the Internet:

1. Dance it out.

I regularly rent studio space and just kind of flail around like a jellyfish. Or teach myself music video choreography. Sometimes if you just lie on the floor in a big empty room and listen to music, it’s enough.

2. Marathon Walks

It’s easy when you have a furry friend like this one to go walking for miles and miles (reason #34853 to get a dog). But my alternate favorite walk is the music-video-strut-whilst-jamming-to-fierce-tunes. Find the straightest path nearby and be like Bey.

3. Nature

Sometimes related to #2, sometimes not: I just need to nature with regularity. One night in da club is enough to make me crave moss, leaves, and ancient trees. Again, pretty sure I am actually a wood nymph. Cosplay idea?

4. Make ridiculous food

Protip: buy yourself a penis pan. You will never look back. Beyond NSFW baked goods, and at the risk of sounding GOOP-like, I love taking on an ambitious kitchen project. Working with my hands, combined with the act of making something wonderful out of a bunch of components, is just very rewarding. Plus, I’m a sucker for pleasing people with food.

5. People watching

I love sitting somewhere outside in a bustling place and watching the wonderful and weird humans mill around. I sound like SUCH a hippie, but when I take out my headphones, look up from my phone, and actually look around for a solid period of time, I learn a lot about people.

6. Museum

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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NERRRRRD. But really, I love being around very old things. It resets my head from worrying about all sorts of modern-day nonsense that doesn’t matter a lick in the grand scheme of things. Modern art museums are also good for bending the brain, even while sober.

7. Escape into another world

I don’t really need to put reading on here, because it’s so obvious, but for true de-Internetting, I need a solid chunk of a few hours to read. This is not like commute-to-work reading, I need to fully escape. Nothing like throwing your phone away and entering a true fantasy for a couple hours. But I don’t need to tell you that.

8. Draw

And, of course: drawing. But it’s last on the list because it’s such a personal and fleeting thing. Don’t ask me “have you been drawing lately?” It happens when it wants to, and that’s that. It’s not something I can sit down and muscle through.

Well, that’s my slightly solemn guide to de-Internetting. Are you getting that itch now, too? What do you do to escape?