A few months ago, I lamented the fact that I didn’t have enough time to watch all of the TV shows that I had been hearing about. I didn’t know enough about them all to make an educated decision about which one I should watch, so I had a go at figuring it out. My very scientific theory was mostly based on the relative popularity of certain hashtags and the reblogging percentage of tumblr gifs.

***SIDENOTE FOR SCANDAL UPDATE: Of the seven shows I highlighted, the only one I watched was Scandal, and I’m very VERY glad I did. Anyone else penciling in time for the OMG moment this Thursday? Ok, so lately it’s been kind of “WHERT” and “HUH?” and “haha, no” but still … I’m hoping Harrison gets more than four lines and a handjob on Thursday.***

And even though my life since the holidays has consisted pretty regularly of shows that I enjoy (Sherlock, Downton, Scandal, Hannibal, True Detective, Girls, New Girl, Mindy Project, Walking Dead, Black Sails … this is getting first hand ridiculous) there are still those elusive few that sneak in my tumblr dashboard and confuse me. Am I supposed to be into these? Is my DVR somehow incomplete because I haven’t allowed their greatness to brush up against the tried and tested kings and queens of my flat screen? Who is the Amy Adams to my netflix queue’s Meryl Streep? (You know, the one show that for some reason a few people like so it keeps getting talked about, but in reality you don’t understand what the big deal is because Katy Purse Girl was the first season of The Office and since then, this random ginger show has done nothing but get on your nerves and turn up looking like your Aunt Ruthann. While your Meryl show is consistently amazing and blows you away every week and deserves every award all the time, because reasons. Anyway, that’s what Amy Adams is like.)

So … even though Game of Thrones is coming back, and Silicon Valley looks awesome, and Walking Dead is still on … here are other contenders for shows I may binge watch at some future date. Convince me. Or don’t.

 

Orphan Black

source

What I know about this show: Tatiana Miscellany, something about lesbians and disguises (clones???).

What I think this show is about: I kind of showed my whole hand up there with the lesbians in disguise thing. But I think the orphan black is like a special secret group of clones, who like girls. Or at least, tumblr really likes that she pretended at one time to like another girl.

Likelihood of my summary being correct: 50%

Will I watch it: All answers point to maybe

 

Teen Wolf

What I know about this show: It’s supposed to be about teens turning into wolves but mostly stars that 30-something guy who wanted to be Batman and the world was all HER? Also, MTV.

What I think this show is about: Other than what is obvious from the title (it’s about middle-aged vampires), there are occasionally some high school kids whose eyes turn yellow and who have sex with each other. It’s about gay wolves.

source

Likelihood of my summary being correct: 95%

Will I watch it: Eh, I think I got the gist.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

What I know about this show: The bits I’ve seen at the start of my dvr’d episodes of New Girl have made me very happy, but I can’t remember to record it. Andy Samberg is crazy attractive.

What I think this show is about: A bunch of inept, but strangely successful, Brooklyn cops. Poop jokes.

Likelihood of my summary being correct: 50%

Will I watch it: REMIND ME TO DVR IT, thanks.

 

Modern Family

What I know about this show: It has won more awards than it should have. This gif.

What I think this show is about: A neighborhood association, but better because the kids are somehow supernaturally witty.

Likelihood of my summary being correct: 80%

Will I watch it: Only if I’m forced into a situation wherein I have no internet access, but several evenings alone with my mother, who needs some assistance in finding gay people less stereotypical. (Please, Lord, don’t let this happen).

 

Once Upon a Time

What I know about this show: I don’t know if I should qualify this one because I watched the first 7 episodes of the first season. So I actually have a pretty good grip on the premise. Storybook is a land in the real world with some mystical book portal to fairy tale land where everyone has literary counterparts. But no one knows except Marcus from About a Boy.

What I think this show is about: It started to get useless for me about the time the Sheriff (Jamie Dornan, RIP) left the show, so I quit watching. But now that every fairy tale character from every story ever written has entered the show, my guess is that it’s kind of like Hunger Grimms … fight to the death, right? RIGHT?

source

Likelihood of my summary being correct: 17.5%

Will I watch it: Are you bringing Jamie Dornan back? Will he be shirtless? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME GO SEE FIFTY SHADES, ABC?

 

Almost Human/Being Human

What I know about this (these) show(s): I get them confused with one another.

What I think this (these) show(s) is (are) about: Shape-shifting, supernatural or science-fiction mishmash of better shows. Somehow they both star Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit actors.

Likelihood of my summary being correct: 100%

Will I watch it (them): I can’t even tell you why I put them in this post.

source

 

 

Doctor Who*

What I know about this show: Unfortunately … EVERYTHING.

What I think this show is about: Conquering the internet, never going away.

Likelihood of my summary being correct: 99.9%

Will I watch it: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. No.

 

So, should I bother with any of these? I really am serious about someone reminding me to DVR Brooklyn Nine-Nine, unless you tell me it sucks.

*SORRY NOT EVEN SORRY for the Doctor Who stuff.