Cue photo of me at a male strip club, when I got a mild concussion. Except no, I can’t have that next to my name in search results. So, here:
The reason I find this (no, not the strip club situation. The fact I talk too openly about sex) so funny is that I used to be such a prude. I had a few awful experiences in college where my roommates had sex 3 feet from me, and it did a number on me. It brought down this wall dividing sex and friendship into distinct ideas, never to intersect.
It wasn’t until I had some distance from that experience and met some other, better friends, that this idea of women comparing notes and rehashing escapades was introduced. And then there’s the TN group texts. It was like a whole new world. I will spare you the details, but I’m dreading the day an iMessage about whiskey dicks or IS ANAL A TREND ON CAMPUS comes up (see what I did there) on my monitor with a coworker in viewing range. I think it has already happened, to be honest. When I tried to get the gang to join Secret, everyone was like “I think this group text IS Secret. But we know who everyone is.”
With my current single-and-cripplingly-anxious situation (best described as a drunken flail), my coping mechanism of choice is to joke about sex and/or being a man-eater. I need to say things like “the only reason I’m going to the gym is because someone might see me naked this weekend.” It just helps. I could probably rein it in around some unwilling bystanders to friend conversations, though.
Just wanted to say hi to my favorite shoes. Hi guys.
At this point in the post, your eye has been drawn violently to the photo below. Go there, take a moment, and I’ll wait.
Hey! You’re back. My point is, while this is a very personal preference, I think you should have at least one friend with whom you can talk about sex. Having a whole group ready at a moment’s notice to commiserate about a terrible experience is amazing, and can pick you up off the floor (where tequila put you. Thanks, tequila.) It’s great to admit you have never done something and are terrified of it, then have the others send you tutorial links and/or step by step guidance. Also great to be able to relate a sexual experience IRL to one from a book we are reading together. *cough* Deeper. But seriously, who else are you going to talk about foreskin with? YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT FORESKIN. Primarily, whether or not it resembles a geoduck.
That’s a clam, guys! Totally SFW!
I did not have a healthy relationship with sex when I was afraid to talk about it. I chose to ignore it altogether and/or “get it over with” in the dark. Yeaaa, I’m romantic. Don’t lie, you’ve been there.
To me, talking about sex with trusted friends is empowering. There is so much shame and embarrassment and awkwardness tied up in sex, and talking, even joking about it reduces that. Wait, do you not feel embarrassed and awkward? Let’s pretend that’s more than just me, haha.
So yea, this is your worst nightmare, dudes. If we have sex, I will absolutely tell my friends. And there will probably be details. But really, shouldn’t that just make you work harder?
SEE WHAT I DID THERE OK BYE.
Do you talk about sex with friends? How…much? Or are you not nearly as nasty as we are?
