According to the latest Buzzfeed quiz, you’re supposed to live in Paris but you really live in Dallas? That’s a bummer, man. And according to Buzzfeed you (girl-I-barely-knew-in-high-school-who-now-has-four-kids) are a hipster parent and not a tiger mom. That must make you feel pretty cool while you’re sitting in the pick up lane at your kid’s preschool! And according to Buzzfeed, Bekah is ready to be a parent and the optimum number of children she should have is four. Sorry, if you wanted less Mr. Choice but Buzzfeed is ALWAYS right.
ACTUALLY, no they’re not and EVERYONE, you can stop posting the results on Facebook to whatever quiz you decided to take today when you were bored between writing reports and making unnecessary trips to the bathroom at work. Tell me, how does choosing my favorite President, favorite color and deciding between Shawshank Redemption, Mean Girls and Remember the Titans tell me about who I am or where I should live or what the stare of my mental agility is? It doesn’t!
Wanna know what Font you are?
No need to waste three minutes of your time, I’ll tell you now: you’re most definitely Comic Sans because it’s the lamest font.
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Terry Bradshaw of Carrie Bradshaw?
I actually want to meet the person who knows both of these people and is actually perplexed as to which one they truly are.
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What Kind of Bathroom Guest Are You?
You don’t need to take a quiz if you’re wondering about this, I’ll tell you: you’re an a-hole! WTF, people?!?!? You go in a bathroom, use it and leave it the way you found it, you’re not an animal or some sort of feral child with zero manners. Get it together.
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What Kind Of Bird Are You?
What kind of BIRD are you??? What KIND OF BIIIIRD ARE YOUUU??!?!! “What kind of dumbass are you?” sounds like a better quiz to me. Besides, we all know the answer to this because Noah Calhoun said it best, “if you’re a bird, I’m a bird.” DUH.
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Which Spice Girl Are You?
What year is it?
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Are You Cool?
No.
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Are You Smarter Than A Crow?
No.
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Why Are You Single?
I don’t know… maybe cause you’re posting about all the Buzzfeed quizzes with Jennifer Lawrence’s face on them that you’re taking on a Friday night. Just a guess.
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Ok, so taking quizzes are just for fun, I get that. I understand that it’s kind of like the 2014 version of playing MASH with your friends and listing your favorite cars, honeymoon destinations and celeb crushes turned husband (obvi). But they’re just using you for clicks! It’s all a dastardly plan to lure you on to their site where soon enough you’re five quizes in, you’ve read 47 ways to make spaghetti with 3 ingredients and you’re about to fall down the deep dark abyss that is their life hacks section. RESIST!!! RESIST dear friends!
Besdies, the only important quiz on Buzzfeed is “Which Friday Night Lights Character Are You?” DUH. Oh and I’m Tami Taylor, thank ya’ll very much.
All images via Buzzfeed
