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Rob-Pattinson

Real Quick catch up with Rob Pattinson

in on 01/20/14 by Bekah 23 Comments

It has been FAR TOO LONG since we’ve talked about ol’ Bekah-and-Nikki favorite, Edward Cullen himself, Rob Pattinson. So I dug into the depths of the internet (basically I went to Robsessed) to answer all your burning Rob Pattinson questions. Here they are:

Does Rob Pattinson still prefer the headwear of the homeless?

Apparently Rob Pattinson’s love for the beanie is still going strong from what I can tell. Robsessed recently found this fan photo of Rob wearing a *new* blue beanie:

rob-pattinson-beanie

So… is Rob still hot?

Uh, if you think a guy acting out your fantasy of hot elevator sex with a stranger is hot, the yes:

Dayum (from the Dior Campaign Rob did last year. The whole short film is worth the 1:07 it takes to watch)

Where is Rob Pattinson laying his head?

As of the Fall he was renting a small (5 bedroom) house in “celeb-friendly” Beverly Hills. I don’t know where he’s living NOW, but I know it’s no longer minutes from Nikki’s house in LA. Rob recently sold his Los Feliz home to Jim Parsons (of The Big Bang Theory) for 6.375 million (he bought it in 2011 for 6.25 million) He made $125,000 which, I think, is less than he would have made in the last two years if he invested in one of Bank of America’s shitty savings accounts.

So why did he sell it? Rumor the it there’s a big beer stain on the white rug, hidden under that chaise at the end of the bed:

Rob-Pattinson-Sells-Home

Apparently instead of having the rug professionally cleaned, Rob just thought it would be easier to move.

Is Rob collecting unemployment or WHAT?

I really thought the answer to this question would be “yes” but turns out, he is filming FIVE movies this year. All I know is the title of these films, but that’s enough for me since I’m really great at guessing what Rob Pattinson films are about:

Lost-city-of-zQueen of the Desert: Rob Pattinson plays a gay guy living in San Fransisco pursuing his dream of opening a cupcake shop. Will anyone show up on opening day? Will his unique “hot pocket cupcake” be enough to bring the crowds in the door 4 years after the cupcake craze has ended?

The Lost City of Z: Rob plays a Zombie leader named “Z” who through a series of unfortunate events loses his city- literally. It disappears and the movie is an adventure story of the Z’s quest to find his city.

Life: A documentary, following around THE REAL Rob Pattinson as he goes through his daily life. From waking in his childhood bedroom in South Barnes, London, to fighting with his mom about laundry (Rob yells, “Of course I”m not touching my dirty drawers. I made 50 million dollars in 2011” to which Claire responds, “If you’re that rich you can pay us rent. Until you do, you clean your own underpants”, to shopping at the local London Good Will (we later learn it’s how he avoids the laundry problem), to his afternoons spent studying his earlier works (like “Little Ashes” and “Bad Mother’s Handbook”) to discover what he had early on in his career before the bright lights and legions of screaming fans put him into a “funk” he can’t quite get out of, to his nights spent partying with TomStu (who we learn a bit about, as well, as he spends each evening dodging calls from his partner and mother of his child Sienna Miller). I’m excited for really deep stuff in this inside look into what makes Rob tick.

mission-blacklist

The Childhood of a Leader: Poised to be his most difficult role yet, this film follows the life of the famed former Mayor of Gary, Indiana from the 1990s as she grows from childhood to adolescence. While Rob is neither female nor ages 7-17 (I predict an Oscar nom for the CGI team), I have confidence that Rob is going to hit this one out of the park.

Mission: Blacklist: Rob plays a famous actor in Hollywood stalked by dedicated fans who are put on a “Blacklist” by his management. The situation gets so out of hand that they decide the only thing to do is for Rob to doing a complete 180 and stalk his fans back. So one-by-one he starts to pursue, date and sleep with each fan on the “Blacklist,” eventually creeping them out so much that they leave him alone. Rumored to be auto-biographical, Rob is supposedly a ghost writer on the screen play.

image source

What about ROBSTEN?

robsten-lion-lamb

Who us?

I literally have no idea. But obviously they’re still secretly in love but will be apart forever because that’s just the way of the world and #ROBSTENLIVES n’ stuff.

No really. I have no idea. Some gossip sites say they talk. Others say they don’t. And the 30 seconds I gave to researching were all shits I could really give. Rob was supposedly dating Sean Penn’s daughter, but that seems to have fizzled. I am really praying that my synopsis of Mission: Blacklist above is actually true & Rob is currently making his way through the “list” we all know really exists.

What did I miss? Any news about Rob Pattinson you know that needs to be shared with the TN world?

23 Comments

About Bekah

Bekah’s Current Obsessions: Tacos. Cats. Running her business(es). Her niece and nephews. Sometimes she tweets at @bekahbuttons. (But she usually doesn't.)

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