Welcome, friends. This is your pretentious hippie captain speaking. And by “hippie captain,” I mean it’s me. This idiot:
Oh, hey. So yea, you read that correctly. After my heavy load of dedicated shows wrapped up in the spring, I just…never went back. I knew I had to confess this to you all when I realized how nervous I was to admit it to the TN crew. I don’t watch TV. Now, let’s not get crazy. My Netflix subscription is alive and well (seriously though, I think it’s alive. It…knows me), and I just breezed through all of Archer in a weekend. Watch that show. For real. Also, I will make an exception for Scandal. Because hot damn:
I promise I’m not doing this as a holier-than-thou thing. I swear, it was an accident. I still have Facebook, and I’m not “going off the grid.” Also, my life lately has seemed like a CW show, so perhaps I’m getting my fix IRL, because…I don’t miss it. Here’s what I’ve been doing instead:
Things I’m doing instead of watching TV
MOAR DRINKING
But seriously. So much drinking lately. There’s always a “reason.” Office party, football, birthday, Saturday, then surviving the World Series. Pasta for dinner (requires wine). Whole lotta drinking. I’m fine, guys. It’s fine. Oh god this gif is too fast. TOO FAST. Also, Kstew, is that you?
DANCE PARTY
I’ve been busting out moves in hip-hop classes (ok, ONE. I went to one.) and obviously, at home in my apartment. There is no household chore that cannot be improved with dance. Cooking? Absolutely. Dishes? Yes. Laundry? Who the f*ck does laundry?
COSPLAY
I finally realized my dream of having blue hair…for a day. I highly recommend finding a friend or coworker whose life you think is rad, and just cosplaying as them for a bit. What? That’s totally normal. Also totally what cosplay is.
WRITING
Journaling is more fun when you write about yourself as a character in a fantasy novel. Try it sometime. Bonus: they’ll get the padded room ready for you extra quick! Graphic novel, here I come.
BAD PHOTOSHOP
You guys know how much I love bad photoshoppin. After giggling at something football commentators said, I helped make this: #sports
BEFRIENDING CATS
Just needed to put this here. I know you can relate to this one.
That’s a picture of my life off of TV, folks: drunkenly photoshopping Reggie Bush into space, dancing around, dying my hair blue, and writing about myself as a world-destroying goddess of death. That doesn’t sound like a quarter-life crisis, does it? Cool!
Have I gone too far? Is this Not Normal? What TV are you watching, or what shows have you happily given up?
