“Excuse me, my eyes are up here”
After the prologue, we jump back in time in the story to the lovely King Henry horseback riding merrily over his grounds. Tom Hiddleston riding a horse will never not be amazing. He makes his way to his throne room to meet with ambassadors from France. Apart from the crotch emphasizing pants, the important thing to take away from this scene is essentially this: Henry is thinking about invading France to take over because of a super complicated generations old bloodline thing that makes him feel like he’s entitled to the French throne. His decision is solidified when the French Dauphin (their equivalent of a Prince) sends a messenger to Henry to laugh at the thought that he has any right to the French throne, and sends a trunk of tennis balls as an insult to Henry’s previously playful and irresponsible past. I know that seems pretty weak, but it must have been a much bigger insult in the 15th century, because Henry gets pissed. I didn’t think I would enjoy the usually sunny Tom Hiddleston yelling, but I stand corrected.
So King Henry is off to France to battle for the throne and of course to get back at the Dauphin for that epic tennis ball insult. He actually goes with his men into battle though, which is pretty respectable, and then delivers one of the most famous speeches in Shakespeare, where in the middle of battle he urges his men, “Once more unto the breach, dear friends…” And of course Tom ROCKS IT. I am a very uncoordinated person and am pretty afraid of a lot of stuff, but even I would have followed him into battle after that speech.
The English win the siege, and while they rest before the next battle at their camp, King Henry disguises himself with a cloak to wander among the troops. He wants to know how his men truly feel about their king. He hears some stuff he likes and some stuff he doesn’t, which is to be expected. Mostly he’s lucky that the digital age was super far off, because this could never happen now. Can you imagine President Obama trying to walk around in a hoodie to talk to people anonymously without getting recognized? That would be all over Twitter in 0.2 seconds…
For the famous Battle of Agincourt, the French troops outnumber the English five to one. Despite their obviously grim chances, King Henry gives another one of Shakespeare’s most famous speeches, the St. Crispin’s Day Speech. He tells his soldiers, in part:
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.
After an extremely brutal battle and against all odds, the English win. It’s reported to King Henry that ten thousand French troops were killed, while the English lost only twenty-nine. That seemed unbelievable to me, so I looked it up and it seems like Shakespeare may have fudged the numbers a little bit for the sake of the story (because he’s Shakespeare and he can just do stuff like that), but not actually by all that much so it’s still really impressive.
In order to broker a peace deal between France and England, King Henry wants to marry the French Princess Katherine (ensuring that his heirs will inherit France). While everyone else is working out the finer details of the deal, Henry tries to woo Kate and we are treated to a scene so magical I can’t even fully describe it. (You really need to watch it to enjoy it in all its splendor.) Neither speaks the other’s language very well, which leads to awkward flirting. Henry is charming as all get out and says things like, “Will you have me?” and “You have witchcraft in your lips, Kate.” When his proposal is accepted and he goes in for the kiss, Katherine backs away giggling stating that French women don’t usually kiss a man until they’re married. But SHOCKER, she makes an exception.
Visual highlights:
Unfortunately everything comes crashing back down when we’re taken all the way back to the setting of the prologue, and King Henry V is lying dead in a church, having been suddenly overtaken by dysentery at the age of thirty-five. His infant son is now the new king, but we’re told that because so many people were involved in running the kingdom while he was a child, England ends up losing France and falls into war yet again. So….not the sunniest of endings.
But overall, I thought all the episodes of “The Hollow Crown” were amazing and I ended up enjoying this mini-series much more than I thought I would when I started out. Job well done to all the actors and directors, and to you, for getting through all that Shakespearean language and intricate English history. For now, fare thee well my friends…
