Fall is finally upon us, though it’s still hot as balls here in Los Angeles, it means one thing. Nope, not sweaters and boots or the reopening of Thunder Mountain at Disneyland. It means FALL TELEVISION! Of course Fall Television keeps getting pushed farther and farther back each year so it might at well be Thanksgiving television but whatever, we’ll take anything besides reruns of Real Housewives and shows like Pregnant and Dating. Goodbye summer television hello Fall Television 2013. Of course with every new season comes the inevitable cancelations. Some of the shows barely make it on to our screens and 80% of them limp off our screens like d-list celebs getting kicked off Dancing With The Stars.
Which ones will get the boot? Which ones will stay around and clog up our DVR’s? There’s no telling but I’ve put together a list of the ones I’m already SO over.
The Imminent Cancelation List
Dracula
NBC, Friday October 25
“It’s the late 19th century, and the mysterious Dracula has arrived in London, posing as an American entrepreneur who wants to bring modern science to Victorian society. He’s especially interested in the new technology of electricity, which promises to brighten the night – useful for someone who avoids the sun. But he has another reason for his travels: he hopes to take revenge on those who cursed him with immortality centuries earlier. Everything seems to be going according to plan… until he becomes infatuated with a woman who appears to be a reincarnation of his dead wife.”
One word: Jonathan Rhys Meyers and his creepy meth addict eyes. Ok, maybe that was like 9 words but this ain’t Bend It Like Beckham anymore and Anne Boylen’s head done rolled in medeval England on Showtime already so unless this is is
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The Millers
CBS, Thursday September 26
“THE MILLERS stars Will Arnett as Nathan Miller, a recently divorced local roving news reporter looking forward to living the singles life until his parents’ marital problems unexpectedly derail his plans. After Nathan finally breaks the news of his divorce to his parents, Carol and Tom, his father is inspired to follow suit and stuns the family when he leaves his wife of 43 years.”
I love Will Arnett as much as the next G.O.B. girl but this guy has the reverse midas touch on television shows. Besides the beloved Arrested Development, do Up All Night and Running Wilde ring any bells? Nope? Exactly.
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Once Upon A Time In Wonderland
ABC, Thursday, October 10
“In Victorian England, the young and beautiful Alice (Sophie Lowe) tells a tale of a strange new land that exists on the other side of a rabbit hole. An invisible cat, a hookah smoking caterpillar and playing cards that talk are just some of the fantastic things she’s seen during this impossible adventure. Surely this troubled girl must be insane and her doctors aim to cure her with a treatment that will make her forget everything. Alice seems ready to put it all behind her, especially the painful memory of the genie she fell in love with and lost forever—the handsome and mysterious Cyrus (Peter Gadiot). But deep down Alice knows this world is real and just in the nick of time, the sardonic Knave of Hearts (Michael Socha) and the irrepressible White Rabbit (John Lithgow) arrive to save her from a doomed fate. Together, the trio will take a tumble down the rabbit hole to this Wonderland where nothing is impossible.”
A show based on the Alice In Wonderland fairy tale. Cause we need ANOTHER fairy tale show said everyone watching Grimm and Once Upon A Time.
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Sleepy Hollow
Fox, Monday, September 16
“In this modern-day twist on Washington Irving’s classic, ICHABOD CRANE (Tom Mison, “Salmon Fishing in the Yemen”) is resurrected and pulled two and a half centuries through time to unravel a mystery that dates all the way back to the founding fathers. Revived alongside Ichabod is the infamous Headless Horseman who is on a murderous rampage in present-day Sleepy Hollow. Ichabod quickly realizes that stopping Headless is just the beginning, as the resurrected rider is but the first of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and only one of the many formidable foes that Ichabod must face to protect not only Sleepy Hollow, but the world.”
A modern day retelling of the classic about Ichabod Crane and the headless horsemen and all that. Yea yea, see the above wherein I mention fairy tales and see way above where I mention Dracula. Seriously, can we have anything else?
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Sean Saves The World
NBC, Thursday, October 3
“Sean’s a divorced dad who’s trying to juggle it all. From his overbearing boss and offbeat employees at work – to his pushy mom and weekends with his teenage daughter at home – handling it all is no easy task. So when Ellie, his 14-year-old bundle of joy, moves in full-time, it’s a whole new challenge.”
Let’s be honest here, if it’s not Jack and Karen Walker, I don’t wanna see it and it screams of “trying to hard.” But I’ll always love ya Jacky.
Which shows will you be tuning into this fall? Any you’re already staying far, far away from?
