**SPOILERS! If you have not watched the latest episode of Game of Thrones (Season 3 Episode 9) then turn back NOW! You have been warned! Game of Thrones Red Wedding Spoilers!**
Was this you on Sunday night?
Forget the parental warnings at the beginning of the show. Who cares about “mature content” and “nudity,” HBO should have taken a page from Deranged Sorority Girl and posted this before Season 3 Episode 9 “The Rains of Castamere” on Game of Thrones–
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“…Tie yourself down to whatever chair you’re sitting in, because this
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And then we all would have known HBO is serious, but Deranged Sorority Girl is NO JOKE. But really why is anyone surprised? How quickly did everyone forget the VERY FIRST SEASON of Game of Thrones wherein they cut off the head of the main character? If that was any indication than we should know the course of Game of Thrones never did run smooth.
If you were featured in that video above or if this was you Sunday night (and today… and probably tomorrow):
Than you deserve a hug. And also this handy guide I’ve come up with:
The Stages of Game of Thrones Grief
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1. Denial
“Oh I’ve heard of this Red Wedding thing, it’s not going to be that big of a deal, right? I mean how bad can a wedding be?” – You
“OH REALLY!?” – George RR Martin
So you thought it was going to be just another wedding, maybe we’d lose an Umber or even Uncle Edmure or some side character, didn’t you? You thought you could handle the Red Wedding, after all how can it get worse than Ned Stark’s head rolling down the step of the Great Sept of Baelor?! Oh you were wrong… so wrong. But it’s ok, this is just another lesson in the nature of George RR Martin, that you should never get too comfortable or love your favorites TOO deeply because there’s always someone hiding in the closet or the privy with a knife and George isn’t afraid to use them. ROOSE, you a-hole.
2. Anger
Everyone on Twitter:
Or ALL of these tweets gathered by i09
Ok, so you’re past denying that this atrocity happened and you’re SUPER FREAKING PISSED OFF! Don’t shy away from these emotions if you feel the need to freak out on social media, DO IT! Embrace these emotions because in my experience it only makes you love the story that much more. You’re invested and it hurts. A LOT. Just try not to take it out on your roommate or your husband or that checker at Trader Joe’s, they’re hurting just as much as you are.
3. Bargaining
At some point on Sunday (and every day after that) you probably found yourself, like Catelyn, trying to bargain with the devil aka George RR Martin (I’m clearly still in the anger phase, excuse my rage). Something like: “TAKE HOT PIE!! TAKE BRON!! TAKE GENDRY. OK, DON’T TAKE GENDRY! TAKE HOT PIE! Take anyone but Robb and Catelyn and the UNBORN PRINCE OF THE NORTH!” But it won’t work, trust me I’ve been begging since I read the Red Wedding chapter and George still won’t take my calls all these months later. The bastard.
4. Depression
Did you call in sick from work today? Have you canceled your HBO subscription? Did you throw away your Jon Snow coffee mug and curse at your Khalessi role play costume taunting you from the depths of your closet? There, there Thronie (their fandom name apparently) it hurts but it will get better… sorta. We will all cheer together soon and pump our fists in the air and wave em like we just don’t care, this I know. Till then though, feel your feels because that’s the only way to heal.
5. Acceptance
Clearly, George is a fan of Faulkner’s writing methods.
Ok, so you’ve made it through these other stages but it doesn’t mean you every had to BE ALRIGHT with Robb and Catelyn dying it just means you are ready to accept what this means to the story and move forward. It’s kind like when Jon and Qhorin Halfhand were captured and Jon knew he had to kill Qhorin because it was an order from the man himself or it meant certain death for not only them but for pretty much the rest of the world if he didn’t. Jon didn’t WANT to kill Qhorin but he accepted it as part of the bigger picture. So let’s all be bigger GoT picture people and accept it… cause honestly, you never know what George has up his Sam-like wizard’s sleeve (ha EW!) besides utter despair and tragedy. Maybe a few miracles. Or maybe just more utter despair and tragedy.
Is it Sunday yet?
PS The North remembers guys. Don’t forget that.
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How are you Thronies doing? Did you know about the Game of Thrones Red Wedding or did you KNOW about the Red Wedding? What stage of grief have you reached?
Thanks to Lula for the iO9 tip!
