Dear Rob,
Happy 27th Birthday! We got together to come up with 27 Reasons we love you to celebrate you turning 27 today.
1. Crocodile Rob, even though it was weird it’s still kinda hot
2. EDWARD CULLEN
3. That rainbow sweater
4. The one time we found this gif
5. Dick and Claire
(That, of course, is Dick & Nikki)
6. THIS MOMENT
7. Cedric Diggory
8. The fake twitters of Rob’s closest confidantes and FAKE ROB himself
And how NONE of the Fake Twitter’s seemed to understand the “R” in Fake R PATTZ was for ROB (except FakeManagerNick)
9. Rob’s Trucker passions online dating profile
10. The controversy posting this image caused
11. How not caring about his girlfriend foced us to deface Bekah’s wedding picture
12. The palatial pad
13. How easy it was to photoshop him in american flag underpants
14. How easy it was to photoshop him in anything
15. How for one second he grew some balls and dumped her
16. His attitude
17. The way he smokes
18. How he singled handedly helped his friends create musical careers based on his own fans
19. Nick Frenkel
20. Stephanie Ritz
21. DEAN
22. Jumping Rob and the internet meme it created
23. Rob’s fans
(and the stories we wish we could repeat…)
24. THE TUCK
(And how he made us all go to artsy theaters to see him tuck his privates between his legs and have sex with a man)
25. How Rob can make normally (sorta) sane fans do anything
(i.e. sleep outside in a parking lot for a week, get ALMOST hypothermia, sit in a camp chair outside a film set in central California for days)
26. How he can look kinda gross, syphisis-y, greasy and sweaty and somehow it’s still hot
27. GQ Rob
28. Never Think/Let me Sign
And the feelings we STILL get whenever we hear them, almost FIVE years later, even though the only thing we can comprehend out of your mouth are “The mumbles”
See, Rob? We still care!
Love,
Bekah & Nikki
Send your wishes for Robert Pattinson’s birthday below in the comments! He’ll never see them. So it’s COMPLETELY normal!
