I don’t know what I thought would change in the 2 hour season premiere of Mad Men Season 6 Sunday night. For the last 5 seasons I have consistently yelled at my tv (you yell at your tv too, right?) “WHO IS THAT?!” Who is that girl?” “Why are you talking to him/her/those guys?” And oddly, the screen never answers and sometimes the show never answers and Sunday night was no different. But oh, am I glad Mad Men is back. It’s been a long hiatus, one in which I didn’t remember Joan’s big business coup or Lane killing himself or Betty still being “fat.” I did remember Peggy left and Sally was still a jerkface brat teen but it didn’t matter, my beloved Mad Men was back with it’s secrets and weird rape jokes and Dick Whitman and Don staring into middle distance thinking about the war or his next ad campaign or maybe just that hot chick across the bar. WHATEVER it’s good to be back!
Oh I know him… we open on Don Draper reading The Inferno by Dante. WHO IS DANTE???
Jay Kay. He said this: “Midway in our life’s journey, I went astray
from the straight road and woke to find myself
alone in a dark wood”
Ohhhh this seems like apropos foreshadowing.
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Don and Megan are in Hawaii doing typical Hawaiian vacation things like laying out on the beach, smoking ciggies, reading Dante and drinking blue drinks of death. Oh and NOT TALKING. Seriously Don doesn’t talk for like the first 30 minutes of the show.
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They go to a luau. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? No idea, just luau people.
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Don can’t sleep so he goes to the hotel bar and meets a dude. WHO IS THAT GUY? We don’t know. All we know is he’s in the army and wants Don to be in his wedding (?!?!?!). Oh and they accidently switch the army issued lighters they each had.
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WHO IS THIS??? Oh, wait it’s just a lighter.
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Megan wakes up and finds Don on the beach with the army guy and his bride and she’s like WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?? No worries. *click*
Yea, no idea.
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Meanwhile back on the mainland…
Betty and the rest of the Francis household have taken in this 16 year old violin playing ingrate and all we can ask is WHO IS SHE???
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“She acts like she’s 25 just because she uses tampons.” – Sally Draper
We know Sally but… WHO IS SHE???
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Cue Betty’s weird rape “joke” that makes everyone including her HUSBAND and us viewers at home HELLA uncomfortable… not to mention wondering WHO IS THIS GIRL? Why is she at your house? Why are you making off color jokes that make everyone uncomfortable? Why are you THE WORST Betty Draper Francis?
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Back at the office…
Everyone officially has the worst haircut in the world (minus Roger). Also this is the ONLY time we will see Ginsberg in the episode. The humanity.
It’s office photoshoot time. Oh, you don’t have office photoshoots? Sad.
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Sure, Don just got back from a Hawaiian vacay and Joan is jeally of his tan but we’re all really wondering WHO IS THAT GUY behind her. You know the one who’s always creepin on people in this epi? In the elevator with Don and the coffee, at the photoshoots, in the office break room. WHO ARE YOU?
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WHO’S ASS IS THAT??!?! Oh wait… just Don’s. Carry on.
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We know Roger… we feel the same way. HELP US HELP YOU! Also. Silver. Fox.
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Meanwhile across town in… “the Village”…
Yea Betty you tell those hippies living without electricity they have no manners and then expect them to share the goulash you taught them how to make. BUT FIRST. Tell us WHO SHE IS!!! Who is the girl you’re looking for? Why do care? Anything? Bueller…
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This is what is looks like when Roger comforts his secretary after HIS OWN MOM dies. Save the vodka! Well played Roger, well played.
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WHO IS THIS GUY WITH THE BEARD?!??! Oh wait just Stan Rizzo the artistic director with a beard. Oh and he was in THE LUCKY ONE as the ex husband cop who died while Zac Efron and the mom made lady pron. Yea, that guy. Poor guy.
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First Roger’s mom dies with little fanfare… then Roger learns his shoe shine guy died and his family sent Roger his shine box. Cue Roger having an office breakdown. But still WHO IS THE SHOE SHINE GUY???
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Who was that neighbor Don was shagging at the end of the episode?!?!?!
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Oh just Linda Cardenelli aka Lindsay Weir! We defs know who she is!
Oh and Peggy is an evil advertising genius who shared a wonderful moment with Stan that Tumblr didn’t feel necessary to make into a gif. RUDE.
Verdict: Needs more Joan and Ginsberg.
Cue super teaser for next week that looks like a parody of a parody of a Mad Men teaser that tells us ABSOLUTELY nothing. Six seasons later I’m pretty sure the editors and producers of Mad Men just get off on trolling their own audience.
So what are our predictions for this season. And WHO is that girl? Can you believe Don is stepping out with Lindsay Weir?
