Even then, at age [redacted], I wanted it to die. Despite my prophetic terror, I couldn’t see it ever getting THIS bad:
Splash on ABC
aslfkjwfd#@#$(#asd;flkjawefd*&!&^^!^!^~asdflkwer!!!!!#$#!!!
No.
(One glass of Riesling later)
Oh hey now. That’s better. Where was I?
Right–so I read this article yesterday, and after I recovered from laughing at “A&E’s Duck Dynasty now outdraws almost everything on NBC,” I had some thoughts:
- Katherine Webb: you are better than this. How is it POSSIBLE that a) DWTS turned you down or b) You went with THIS over DWTS? I say this as someone who loathes DWTS. Who is your manager? Can I interest you in a beachfront property in Vegas? I guarantee you Brent Musburger wants more for you (and from you) than this. By the way, his check is in the mail, right? I thought so.
- So let me get this straight, ABC: You took DIVING, the most boring event of the Summer Olympics, and thought “yes, people want to see D-listers failing at this” and created Splash. Do you know how much diving I had to endure last summer? NBC, whose programming is not what you should be emulating, by the way, showed diving almost every single day during primetime. What’s next, a show about “stars” sucking at beach volleyball?
- What ACTUAL STARS would you like to see on a reality show, if dreams could come true? I’m sick of this nonsense with people I don’t care about. Maybe I should stop fighting reality TV and try to make it so ubiquitous that A-listers are obligated to participate.
- Angelina Jolie would totally be the chick who says, “I’m not here to make friends.”
- Arranging PR relationships could be much more efficient with the MTV NEXT model:
- I want to know what the real real housewives of Hollywood are like. How many employees do they have? How long does it take the paparazzi to show up after they call them?
- Does Charlize always wash her makeup off before bed, or is she JUST LIKE ME?
- Does Leo have the Victoria’s Secret catalog in his home office, like a rolodex, with color coded post-it tabs marking prospective girlfriends? How does that even work, is it like ordering off a menu? Is there a checklist of some sort, or how does he keep them straight? Or make sure he doesn’t repeat?
I want to start a discussion about this, because I’m interested in what you #normal people think (and watch!). I don’t really watch reality TV and have hated it since it started, but can I really reject a crap-factory that is giving us THIS?!
No, I’m not sure I can. PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR 4/21.
photo source: ABC
What reality shows do you watch? Are ashamed to watch? Love?
What A-listers would you want to see instead of these randos?
