News is some porn company made a film that is basically word for word (hey just like the fanfic!!) of Fifty Shades, and SURPRISE SURPRISE they are being sued (apparently by Universal, who owns the film rights; so it’s not EL James herself this time). The production company is counter suing, asserting that because it was free online as Master of the Universe, it is public domain. Uh, good luck on that one, guys (not gonna fly).
In the meantime, the SFW trailer has nary a long finger or nipple clamp, so you can enjoy it at your desk. Without further adieu, I give you guys … Fifty Shades of Grey XXX adaptation.
I’m sorry. You’ll never go back to when you didn’t have to see that. Let me make it up to you in reaction gifs.
Young Christian in what appears to be a gimp suit.
That oh-so-emotional lipstick on the chest scene.
That Dr. Evil “ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS!!!”
How Ana feels when Christian blindfolds her.
It’s actually exactly what lovers of the book should expect. Campy acting, lots of bondage, weird flashbacks to AN UNDERAGE male submissive, and bad dialogue. Sorry, Erik, I hope you didn’t have your hopes set too high on being Christian Grey. This pornstar just seems to get his vacant-eyed, vomit-inducing character down pat. Even though he looks like an uglier Steve Carrell.
As my friend, Leiah, pointed out, “Can’t Universal just buy that, do no editing, and distribute? It’d be so meta.” It would indeed. 89% meta.
Are you rooting for the porn company to win their counter suit? Would you see a Fifty Shades movie in the theater?
