SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! I’m sure we all know what happens on Sunday. No, it’s not the Lord’s day and no it’s not your laundry catch up day and no, it’s not your late brunch hangover cure day. This Sunday, January 6th DOWNTON FREAKING ABBEY is BBBBBBBAAAAACCCKKKK!!! It’s been a loooong ten months since we left Downton in a relative state of shambles so let’s review, shall we? I don’t know if you’re like me but I can barely remember where exactly we left off and clearly I need to pull out the DVDs again but let’s put together some notes from where we left our beloved Crawley crew.
Lord Grantham
Had a gross, weird and totally unnecessary affair with the maid who took Gwen’s place after she left to go north of the wall (“you know nothing Jon Snow” – all of us). He then offered to be her kids sugar daddy and put him through school. Hopefully Cora makes him sleep on one of those really uncomfortable couches in the drawing room with Isis in season 3.
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Matthew Crawley
Ohhh Matthew… sweet sweet, blue eyed, floppy hair, adorable Matthew… he and Mary finally nutted up long enough to recognize that they totally want to bone forever and ever in the master suite of Downton. Will Lavinia’s ghost haunt their wedding? Will Matthew wear a morning coat to the ceremony? Will we all get shocked on the tongue after licking our tv’s at the first site of Matthew after all this time? Short answer: YES.
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(this bitch)
Mary Crawley
After Jorah Mormont (aka Sir Richard CarLYLE) dumped her ratchet ass for Khalessi and headed back to the Dothraki Sea to secretly pine away after the Mother of Dragons Mary realized what a fool she’d been and finally jumped on Matthew while Lavinia lay dying. Classy but we love her, right? Will Mary wear white to the wedding (let’s not forget Mr. Pamuck)? Will getting some on the regular from Matthew calm down her raging bitchiness? Short answer: Maybe??
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Edith
Once an Edith, always an Edith. Will she ever stop shagging farmers and severely burned war veterans and get with that old guy? He has his own motor after all and he does give the nicest compliments.
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Sybil
Clearly, the smartest one on the entire tv show. One can only hope she and Branson are shagging morning till night in Ireland while her parents wonder what they did wrong to turn their daughter into a commie, Irish-loving feminist.
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The Dowager Countess
In season 3 she will continue to be freaking awesome.
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Cousin Isobel
She will either save another lowly Downton village resident from death by suggesting a doctor plunge a needle in his heart while she watches or she and the Dowager will have an old time-y shoot out with pistols on the front lawn of Downton as entertainment for a garden party. The Dowager will win. Of course.
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Mr. Bates & Anna
One word: Conjugal visits.
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Daisy
I can only assume Daisy will still be trying to (unknowingly) poison the Crawley family and generally acting like an idiot while living off poor dead William’s money.
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Thomas and O’Brien
One word: beard.
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Mrs. Pattmore
Will probably just continue to yell DAAAAISY!!!! In that awful haggard auntie voice of hers.
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Mr. Pamuk
Still dead. We hope.
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And if you really, REALLY can’t remember what happened check out this video from PBS and prepare yourself for Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!
What are you most excited to see on the season opener of Downton? Which character did we miss and what do you think they’ll be up to this season?
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PS In case you thought you were the biggest Downton Abbey fan out there, take a seat. Cause this guy built a replica GINGERBREAD house Downton Abbey (possible spoilers on page). That’s normal man. So normal.
Follow along as we live tweet the season premiere this Sunday.
