Just the SONG makes me SO excited? UNTIL…. I saw a spoiler— and it was from one of our very own (i won’t say who. But she loves cats). YOU GUYS: The spoiler killed me. It was a good one. It was a picture. Multiple pictures. Of an amazing thing. I won’t say much more but I DIED inside. Of Joy. And of hotness of a one Cousin Matthew Crawley.
So it got me thinking of what to do to avoid spoilers. And this is what I came up with:
- Avoid Tumblr at all costs. There are far too many incredible gif combinations of Matthew giving THE LOOK at the camera from season 3 already that you’ll melt right in your desk chair. And then google “WATCH DOWNTON ABBEY SEASON 3 for FREE” and pick the first search result which will most likely add some hacker code onto your computer so that next time you sign into your bank account to count your pennies it’ll steal your account info and then next thing you know you have NO money left and your cable will get shut off for lack of payment and even though PBS is not on cable you have to buy those bunny ear attenas to make it work and since you have no money in your bank account you can’t afford them and so even when January rolls around and you CAN legally & safely watch Downton Abbey and you’re excited to do so because the holidays were terribly depressing because you had no money for gifts of champagne or fruitcake and had to wear LAST YEAR’S holiday party dress to EVERY holiday party and you about died from embarrassment because you went to the same party with like 3 people and they looked at you so strange because you got so drunk at each party (the champagne was free) that you dropped more and more food on your dress (shrimp cocktail sauce party #1, mustard from little wieners party #2 etc.) and couldn’t afford the dry cleaning because DUH- NO money- and you finally had to explain to the starers “YEP. SAME DRESS AS LAST WEEK. YEP. SAME MUSTARD STAIN. MY MONEY WAS STOLEN BECAUSE I DOWNLOADED DOWNTON ABBEY BEFORE JANUARY” and after all that embarrassment when January finally rolls around you can’t even watch it at home because of the bunny-ear problem so you have to watch it with that weird next-door neighbor with all the cats and even though you really love cats you think 12 of them crosses a line. ALL because you went on Tumblr.
- Or install something like Tumblr savior to block all mentions of Downton Abbey & saves you all the above headaches.
- Find new friends if your friends won’t stop talking about it. Matthew is worth that, don’t you think? Who cares that you’ve known them since you were age 3. Screw them. You want to stay spoiler-free. You can develop a 30 year bond with someone new who is pro-Downton waiting. Start with me. I won’t let you cave.
That’s all I came up with for now. But keep checking back. I intend to come up with many ideas for what we can all do while waiting for Downton Abbey Season 3. We’re in this TOGETHER GUYS
(Except for you guys in the UK. You suck. And except for all of you who are already watching online. Can’t wait to laugh at your mustard stains this holiday season…)
