For burning the apple cobbler for the pot-luck supper!
Enter Ichabod who, in yet another feat of random association, deduces that the cause of the spree is one of the 30 ‘counterfit’ coins that George Washington sent Crane to destroy 200 years ago. Washington must have known that coins are evil!!! Unfortunately, the commander of that mission was none other than the ill-fated Benedict Arnold. Finally! Ichabod (and history itself!) is able to “coin-splain” why such a dedicated revolutionary as Arnold could have turned coat! BECAUSE THE COIN!
Abbie and Ichabod are desperate to get the coin before Henry is able to unleash it on any more unsuspecting citizens, revealing their true colors:
Unfortunately, Cyndi Lauper performed this song in the pre-gifazoic era
In order to help in the quest, Jenny suggests talking to an antiquities dealer she has worked with. Which brings us to the big news this week:
There’s a new beard in town!
Yesssss. Nick Hawley (played by Matt Barr) is in the house, but what exactly is his deal?
Our first revelation concerning Nick, is that he looks like this:
And he talks like a cross between Gary Busey and this guy:
Which I love, because he’s a great contrast to stuffy Ichabod (or as Nick’s dubbed him: Shakespeare).
But is he someone Ichabod and Abbie can trust? I mean, he seems to know his shizz vis a vis “Tyrian Sheckels” (the accursed coin), and could have crucial information to help stop Henry’s evil plan. To which I say:
Ichabod is not sold on his down-home charm, and is pretty sure he’s just in it for the money. Nick reveals that the effects of the coin can only be neutralized by sanctified stained glass (hahahahaha! This right here? Do that more!). Which is great news, but Crane not only still mistrusts him, he seems to clearly resent no longer being the only beard in town!
While Icahabod is feeling a little threatened, Miss Abbie might just be in her element:
Oh snap!
Nick is is willing to help Crane obtain the glass by engaging in some vandalism, but unbeknownst to the gang, Henry has ‘coin-trived’ to have Jenny find cursed object (seriously, I have a million of these). The mission becomes critical when Jenny threatens to take out the entire cast in order to avenge her mother, and when Ichabod pulls an Ochoa and kicks the loose coin into Nick’s waiting, glass trap. (just go with it)
DENIED!
And just when Crane thought he had been mistaken about Nick’s motivations, Nick disappears into the woods with the coin!
Isn’t he?
I honestly don’t know how to feel? He is acting like such a douche, but he has that beard! Arrrrgh! Maybe this little interaction will help me clarify:
See? In the end Nick comes through with a fake ID for Crane! Now Ichabod can finally order a beer!! What a guy! Too bad he drops the bomb that he’s going to find the remaining 29 cursed schekels to sell to the highest bidder – evil consequences be damned!
I’m sure other things happened in this episode, but I didn’t really catch them because I was too busy imagining how it would feel to run my fingers through this guy’s thick, golden locks pondering the implications of there being 29 more coins loose in the world,
while also heavily shipping “Nickabod” (TM):
“Nick, you handsome blonde tiger you!”
“Oh, Ichabod, you are embarrassing me!”
As for Benedict Arnold, it turns out that in the end, when he met Crane again on the battlefield as a foe he was unable “coin-vince” himself to kill him. He retained a kernel of goodness after all!
Benedict, you misunderstood, beautiful bastard!
See you for more Horsemen and hawtness next week!
What would you most likely do if you got the coin that made you act on your deepest resentment? Kick the ass of whoever it was that invented leg shaving? Handle your spouse who rearranages everything you put in the dishwasher to his exacting specifications? Throttle the guy who spent 30 minutes trying to turn over the dead engine of his car outside your window yesterday? Yeah, me neither.
