Today’s post features all the cutest body part enamel pins I could find. Click the links below each to check out and support the artists! featured image sourceI don’t understand my body, and I always blamed it on the fact that I missed 7th grade health class.
I was homeschooled in 7th grade. Actually I was homeschooled from 3rd through 8th grades (I went to high school in 9th Grade), but 7th grade was pretty big year to be missing public school. Because it turns out they go over some pretty important FACTS in 7th grade. Like Sex. And STIs formerly known as STDs. And the female body and reproductive system.
In homeschool, we did Saxon Math, had art class with Mennonite girls with bonnets on their heads and did not learn about Sex or the Cervix and the fact that it’s pretty important to know and understand the human body.
I remember my best friend Ashley would call me and tell me all the things she learned about sex. And once on the youth group bus to camp, a boy said “jerk off” which we were able to figure out … eventually. But Ashley never told me where the cervix was. I thought once I got to public school, I’d catch up and learn everything I needed to know about my body, my reproductive system, how to put a condom on a banana and everything I needed to know to get me through life. WRONG. By 9th grade, everyone had moved on. That one couple was having SEX. That tall girl was masturbating with a frozen hot dog (allegedly), and I never had a single class teaching me about my body, save for ONE IMAGE in 10th grade when we were shown genital warts.
So here I am, a 35 year old woman, sharing a quick list of all the things I don’t know about my body:
1. I actually don’t know where the cervix is.
And I JUST learned that its the cervix that opens during birth and not the vagina. And I’ve SEEN birth multiple times (man, that thing stretches!)
2. Don’t get me started on my uterus.
Huh? Where the hell does it fit inside of me? And how is a thing that is currently in non pregnant women’s bodies going to eventually fit a fully grown newborn? Is it literally like a balloon?
3. I got the ovaries covered. I think.
I know because I’ve experienced the pain of an ovarian cyst rupture, that our ovaries take turns dropping the eggs each month. Actually, I’m not sure if that’s right. Do the ovaries drop the eggs? Or is that the fallopian tubes? What the hell are they for?
(It’s killing me to not google this and admit that I’m an idiot when it comes to my own body.)
4. How can you be pregnant for two weeks before you’re actually pregnant?
Hear me out on this: A Virgin named Sally gets her period on December 1st. 2 weeks later, she does the hanky panky with her new boyfriend Fred and it happens to be on the day she is ovulating. 1 Month later, she’s celebrating her loss of virginity when she realizes she’s a few weeks overdue for her period. She takes a test. BOOM. Pregnant. One month pregnant, right? WRONG. Sally, devirginized-just-four-weeks-ago is SIX WEEKS PREGNANT.
HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE. We consider the age of the fetus the age of the EGG, even prior to fertilization?
5. I DO know there’s a fertile window when you can get pregnant, but how it works….
I know that fertile window is supposedly only a few hours (unless you’re 16, then it’s 28 days long), but that window lasts a few days? From 3-8 days? Even though there are only hours when fertilization really can happen?
Wait, I cheated and just googled- SPERM CAN LIVE FOR MULTIPLE DAYS INSIDE YOU?
So yeah, 7th grade was a tough one to miss. Take it from me, homeschooling moms, teach your girls these things. Because everything I’ve learned about my body I’ve learned from googling or from sounding REAL dumb at the brunch table with my besties.
(Also I’m pretty sure they teach this stuff much earlier than 7th grade these days, poor babies!)