Fans: HOW ABOUT SOME NEW DVDS!!?!?! I DON’T HAVE EVERY OTHER VERSION! HAHAHAHALOLZJKJKJKNO, I don’t need that! I hope it’s something really cool, we’ve been so loyal and bought everything, and really helped make the Twilight Franchise a success!!! What cool stuff are you rolling out for us incredibly devoted fans?!?!?
Lionsgate Execs: Uhhhh… no, it really is new DVDs… and some super hip, insightful fan art covers we maybe didn’t find off Deviant Art and we definitely didn’t hire someone who knew nothing about Twilight to create them!!! You’re excited, right???
Lionsgate Execs: BUT WAIT!! We have some featurettes
that we could’ve given you for free that you’ve never seen before, the film is now in 4k and we’re going to put Twilight back in theaters on two random days in October!!!!
Lionsgate Execs: Come on guys!!! We know you fans didn’t do Twilight dirty like we did to the final Hunger Games films… or to the final Divergent
films, tv show, whatever… and therefore owe you some cool shit to show our appreciation for all the mansions and yachts you helped us finance… but ya, maybe you should just show up to the theater with all your friends and maybe get drunk and see this on the big screen all over again:
Fans: EF IT. Fine… take my money.
Ok, now that I’ve written a little Fan/Lionsgate Execs fanfic… let’s talk about these covers… this movie… errrrything!
You know every Twilight fan’s favorite part of Twilight, right??? Yes, it’s the part where Edward says “Hold on tight spider monkey” as he jumps out the window with Bella on his back and they run up a mountain in one of the worst special effects scene in the movie and arguably in cinema history. So yes, definitely, let’s put it on the cover and commemorate this moment forever!
Oops, sorry, I forgot to deactivate the sarcasm button I had on for that fanfic I wrote. To the artist’s credit, this is probably the prettiest cover of the five, and captures the forest-y, Forks theme of the film. I would have played up the blue tones from the film in this even more though.
It took me a second, but it you look near Bella’s neck you see the silhouette of
one of the Port Angeles alley rapists, Edward about to bite her neck… at least there aren’t fangs…
I mean… I guess this is fine and all but a better cover for New Moon would have involved some wolves with jorts ripping off mid-phase if you really wanted to capture the movie’s vibe… perhaps that’s too x-rated for a dvd cover but at least put shirtless Edward in the middle of that town square… or just use the the Face Punch movie scene instead. A clammy Mike Newton deserves to be on a DVD cover.
If you’ve ever seen Kristen Stewart in real life… or just like in a picture or a movie… you know she’s about the size of a thimble… and you know Taylor and Rob’s faces don’t look like that, nor do they have concave foreheads. Also, do we really want to commemorate the awkward transition from Rachelle LaFevre as Victoria to Bryce Dallas Howard in a terrible wig as Victoria on the cover?
Bonus points for capturing the true essence of a KStew “don’t give a fuck” eyebrow lift though.
Breaking Dawn Pt 1
Ok, so this might be the second best of the bunch minus the width of Jacob’s snoot, at least Rob and Kristen look like themselves and the color scheme is pretty and the miniature Bella and Edward getting married looks somewhat believable, and not like Edward with a dead body on his back like the Twilight cover.
Breaking Dawn Pt 2
This Breaking Dawn Pt 2 cover is perhaps the greatest offense against Twilight fans… How someone didn’t yell “THAT’S A JACOB PIC FROM NEW MOON AND NOT BREAKING DAWN DUHHHH!1/!!” when this was turned in for approvals is beyond me, but that probably also means they didn’t show these covers to die-hard Twihard
psychos like us. The artist was “Googling” photos after all:
And yes, he spent hours Google-searching photos of Stewart, Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner — all in different lighting — to get the likeness of those beloved characters just right. “More important that anything, it had to look like the right people,” he said. “If it didn’t look perfect, no one would buy it. So a lot of attention was given to making sure the likenesses were perfect.” via MTV
You wanna know what photo of Taylor we’ve found while Googling?
Coming to a Blu-ray cover soon!
The artist who was chosen to create brand new packaging for the movie re-releases is Justin Erickson and while not in fact a Twilight fan, or a woman, or even really that into the gig he was given… he loves fedoras.
Now I don’t know if it’s actually still 2008 in Canada or if the earth turns more slowly north of the American border, but this outfit is the exact one boys wore to see Twilight the first time it was in theaters, so bonus points for the full ten year throwback. It’s just unfortunate his shirt is covering his Cullen crest tattoo, though…
As a Twilight fan reading this you are literally the embodiment of that Viola Davis GIF up there:
While Erickson doesn’t have a favorite scene per se, he does deeply admire the lush landscapes of the film, all of which are reflected in the artwork. “Is it weird to say that I was a really big fan of how they built the scenery? I love the production design and the cold, dreary locations.”
“… he watched all five films in one sitting and put himself in the mental perspective of a fan. “You have to ask yourself, ‘If I’m a fan of this movie, what was my favorite scene from that movie? What’s the key scene and the big moment?’ We wanted to have those moments featured on the covers.” – via MTV
Except NONE of these scenes that are featured in the new cover art are fan favorites. You wanna go fan favorite scenes? Check it:
Twilight – Edward walking into cafeteria OR just a framed photo of Buttcrack Santa (RIP).
New Moon – “They’re NOT bears!” scene.
Eclipse – Two words: LEG HITCH.
Breaking Dawn Pt 1 – Jumping Rob (sure it wasn’t from the movie, but it was from the FILMING OF the movie!)
Breaking Dawn Pt 2 – Just a Carlisle disembodied head
You’re welcome Justin!
Ok, now that I’ve ripped this unsuspecting Justin guy a new vampire shaped a-hole… sorry dude, it’s what we do! Let’s move on to the actual good news! Beyond the new covers on the 4k/DVD/Blu-ray (whatever it is) release, the two most interesting parts of this big announcement are:
1. New Features on the Re-releases… including
NEW: “Twilight Tour…10 Years Later” Featurette
“A Conversation with Stephenie Meyer” Featurette
“Music: The Heartbreak of Twilight” Featurette
“Becoming Edward” Featurette
“Becoming Bella” Featurette
“Catherine Hardwick’s Vampire Kiss Montage” Featurette
“Catherine Hardwick’s ‘Bella’s Lullaby Remix’” Music Video
“Edward’s Piano Concert” Featurette
“Twilight Cast Interview: Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson” Featurette
“Twilight Cast Interview: Cam Gigandet” Featurette
“Twilight Cast Interview: Edi Gathegi and Rachelle Lefevre” Featurette
Cast Interviews on the Red Carpet
“Stephenie Meyer Talks About The Twilight Saga” Featurette
Plus lots more included in the subsequent movies.
2. Twilight is headed back to Theaters!!!
Twilight will also return to theaters this October 21 for two days only as part of the “Fathom Spotlight” series. According to Fathom Events:
“This unforgettable experience will also treat fans to an introduction by director Catherine Hardwicke and an exclusive sneak peek of the brand-new special feature “Twilight Tour…10 Years Later,” plus, fans will receive a commemorative poster!”
I know my home needs another commemorative poster! JKJK, I’m just excited to see Twilight again in the same theater I saw it for the first time… AND with added bonus intro video!
What’s your favorite cover and will you be reliving the Twilight magic in theaters October 21 & 23?
Read all things Twilight here on That’s Normal and on Letters to Twilight
All GIFs via Giphy, Covers via Lionsgate