That’s right: I got sick.
Through some divine miracle, I escaped the dreaded flu that has seem to hit one out of every two Californians. However, there was a week where my voice dropped three octaves and I was mistaken for “my husband” by a telemarketer (I’m not married), both my nostrils decided to take a vacation from breathing, my sneezes made my entire body jump at least a foot off the couch, and my head gained ten pounds on top of my neck that only had the strength of a pencil. In other words, I got a cold.
No matter what vitamin supplement you put in your drink or sanitizer you pour over your entire body, you just sometimes can’t escape getting sick. So when that time happens, here are just some of my go-to cold/flu remedies.
Egg Drop Soup
The old adage always taught us to, “Feed a cold and starve a fever.” But when you’re sick, the last thing you want to do is cook. That’s why God made soup.
Ever since I was a child, I loathed chicken soup and that hatred still burns today. So rather than eat chicken flesh floating in water with some mushy carrots and celery that you’re just going to end up throwing away, I make egg drop soup.
The recipe is easy: all you need is your preferred broth (Ironically, I go with chicken. Go figure.), egg, salt, and pepper. In a matter of five minutes, you have a delicious meal that your waning taste buds will thank you for.
Let me just start with this disclaimer: I do not believe that just by smelling lavender or putting peppermint on your inner wrist, you will be cured of what ails you.
But I do believe that using certain essential oils can help in the process of healing, even if it’s just easing your stressed or even throbbing mind.
Combine peppermint, tea tree, lemon, and eucalyptus oils in your diffuser at night for a little congestion relief. Pour steaming water in a bowl, put in a few drops of eucalyptus oil, place a towel over your head and create your own humidifier. Yes, you’ll look like a moron but you’ll be able to open your nasal passages and get a free facial. Suck it, Juvéderm.
Unless you’re a one year old, every person should have honey always stocked in your cupboards. Of course, with the rate at which we’re destroying this environment, bees will be extinct in a few years and honey’s only viable replacement will be the remaining hair dye from Donald Trump’s medicine cabinet.
But while we still have access to it, honey is a miracle worker when you’re sick. Having a coughing fit and just took a spoonful of cough syrup? Forget the spoonful of sugar, Mary Poppins. Have a spoonful of honey. Remember that extra hot water you didn’t use when steaming your nasal passage open? Add some fresh lemon juice and, you guessed right, put in a good squeeze or two of honey.
Who knew that little plastic bear container could make you feel somewhat human again?
When it comes to taking medicine, I’m a type A patient ALL THE WAY. If the directions read, “Take two pills every four hours,” I’m not waiting four hours and one minute. I’m even more of a stickler about how many doses to take in a 24 hour period. So, when I’ve reached maximum doses and still need to soothe a sore throat or a stuffed nose, or ease a cough that will eventually produce a piece of my lung, I embrace the nectar of the gods: alcohol*.
*I think it should go without saying, but I’ll put this disclaimer in anyway: you should not mix alcohol with cold medication unless you want to see Jesus, play a rousing game of Guess Who? staring your deceased family members, come back to life, think you had a near-death experience but finally realize that Jesus was really your boyfriend/husband/mail carrier and now you’re never getting your mail again over sheer embarrassment.
I’m a firm believer in the power of a hot toddy. Whether you use whiskey or bourbon, a hot toddy is perfect right before you need to go to sleep, which is definitely what you need and, at the same time, the hardest to achieve when you’re sick. But this isn’t a chance to play hot toddy pong: all you really need is just one serving, you literally sick lush.
What are your go-to sick remedies?