Find us on Facebook
It’s Memorial Day weekend, and for many of us that could mean anything: a chance at some much needed rest and relaxation, the start of summer, or finally getting those overpriced Martha Stewart bedsheets at a low, low price at Macy’s Memorial Day sale. But for many, Memorial Day is a chance to be with the people you love and eat your weight in anything grilled, marinated, or even fried. Because on Memorial Day, you don’t gain weight.* (This is a complete 100% lie.)
I fall in the last category: Memorial Day weekend, which typically falls on my mom’s birthday, is a time to be with family and friends, have a glass of something cool and high alcoholic content accompanied by food that breaks my Paleo diet. So for me, a go-to crowd pleaser is my roasted shrimp and orzo salad. I found this recipe while binge watching Ina Garten’s Barefoot Contessa, and amid shots of her roaming the farmer’s market in Martha’s Vineyard and perusing the aisles in her local French bakery (doesn’t everyone have one in their town), she made this for her summer dinner party, y’know, in her Martha’s Vineyard backyard. Needless to say, my invitation was somehow lost in the mail.
Let me get this off my chest before I go any further: I have a love/hate relationship with Ina Garten, and yes, it’s mostly on my end because the woman doesn’t know I exist. Everything has to be “good” in her ingredients: “good” olive oil, “good” cheese, “good” spices. Um, Ina? Anything on sale at my grocery store is “good” in my opinion. Sure the woman brags about her monthly trips to Paris, sometimes name drops on her shows and in her cookbooks, and calls her husband Jeffery (not Jeff, but Jeffery.)
But the woman can cook, dammit, and that’s why I love her.
And her roasted shrimp and orzo salad has something for everyone and the best part? It’s completely foolproof. And the end result will have you standing on a chair over your plate, lining up the perfect shot for your Instagram with some lame ass hashtag like #ShrimpLife. (Trademark Julie.)
So, here’s my little spin on Ina Garten’s roasted shrimp and orzo salad. Get ready to fall in love with a meal. I’m sure it’s legal to marry in some states.
My attempt to IML: Instagram My Life. Shot #001 – standing on a chair, over the cutting board. My next shot? Just a solitary shot of me looking into the void, wearing a Coachella flower headband.
Julie Tip #1: multitask while cooking. While waiting for your water to boil, prep the ingredients. Also, don’t forget to drink while prepping. You’re human after all.
Quick Rorschach test! Do you also see Jamie Dornan lying naked on a beach? No? Oh.
Julie Tip #2: Place your wooden spoon over the boiling pot after you put in the pasta. It prevents it from boiling over. Science, y’all.
Why, you ask, do I have a plastic bag over my olive oil? When I first opened that bottle, which is plastic, it spilled over. Want to know what’s worse than cleaning spilled olive oil? Nothing. The answer is nothing because it’s the devil’s baby oil.
Go ahead and insert your dated Forrest Gump joke about shrimp here. Julie Tip #3: don’t forget to remove the tail because once you’re eating, it becomes a hassle and I’m just lazy.
This is what I think people on the clean eating diet dream about each night.
So close. Julie Tip #4: taste before adding more salt and pepper. Sometimes, you don’t need it and it’s always better to under salt than over salt. If this was the Rachel Ray Show, you all would be applauding me right now.
You did it, kid! God bless the Greeks and their greatest creation: feta cheese. Your economy may be shit but your cheese is amazing.
Bon appetit! If you make this, let me know how it went and if you added anything! Happy cooking!