Oh Rob. It’s been far too long since we’ve talked (I mean I wrote you a letter like the creepy, weirdo fan I am) but I heard the news that you are the first celebrity face of Dior Homme clothing and we can expect to see many more pictures of you in male fashion magazines (like in GQ), which which made me exclaim:
WE ARE GETTING 2016 GQ ROB?
I jumped on Google to find some images to remind my friends of what the term GQ Rob should immediately bring up in their minds. And I have terrible news to report. You are not the number one result. Some man named ROB LOWE is who first appears when I google “GQ ROB”
THIS is not GQ ROB:
THIS IS GQ ROB
This picture is the ONLY approved GQ-Rob. Be still my heart-still-fluttering-like-its-2009.
Let me let that sink in. 2-0-0-9.
So much has changed since then, Rob. I don’t write to you anymore (I used to. DAILY); You are #Unbroken with your one true love; You have a new one true love; Long gone are the days of hoodies, Free stoli-vodka shirts and pit stains (well, at least Getty Images hasn’t caught you that way in the last year). Now we usher in the new era of high-end Dior mensware. But I’ll never forget #GQRob. (It’s been so long, I don’t even think it was a hashtag back then)
GQ Rob gave us so much.
It gave us:
Beautiful Bastard Rob:
Scoot on over and let’s spoon, Rob:
Greasy, but you’d still do him, Rob:
Urban Cowboy, Rob:
And it gave us the only Rob we really even need ….
…to cleanse us from the fact that in your non GQ-Rob life (so 364 days a year, in the years you actually do a GQ photoshoot) you look like That guy who did okay in high school but then just started smoking much weed and couldn’t hack community college and lives close enough to pop by mom’s house for Sunday dinner but always smells of cigarettes and stale Heineken from hanging out with “the guys” at the local backwoods dive bar the night before, Rob:
I miss you, Rob. Life isn’t the same without you in it.
Is GQ Rob still your favorite Rob? Share your favorite in the comments!