Things Armie Hammer as Illya Kuryakin does that will make you fall in love with him:
– Rips the trunk off of a car
– Engages is almost constant sass with Napoleon
– Punches a thief in the throat without even looking
– Adorably riffs about architecture that he knows nothing about
– Dances awkwardly
– Makes this face after Napoleon says something about women’s fashion that Illya thinks is completely ridiculous
– Throws a motorcycle at a bad guy
– Makes sad puppy dog eyes at Gaby, the female lead in the film. Gaby is a feisty, tiny car mechanic who has to pose as Illya’s fiancée for a mission, and their interactions together are precious. I profoundly believe in movie theater etiquette, so outwardly I remained relatively composed during the film. However, I am only a mortal woman, and during all of Gaby and Illya’s scenes together my heart made the shriek-y goat screaming noises from those viral Youtube videos.
Let me bombard you with examples whether you like it or not!
– The aforementioned awkward dancing scene. (This is slightly cut down from the version in the movie.)
Look at that almost-kiss. LOOK AT IT.
Right after this he carries her to bed, tucks her in, and says goodnight to her in that deep, sexy Russian accent. And it is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.
– This sweetness
– Height difference
She’s standing on a table and wearing shoes and she’s still barely taller than him.
– The exchange where Illya tells Gaby that everything is going to be okay because HE’LL BE CLOSE BY.
I could go on, but I won’t. I can’t give everything away, you need to see it for yourself. Which you most certainly should do. The entire look of the film is fantastic, especially the female characters’ clothes. I kind of want one of everything they wore. The soundtrack is also crazy good. But by far the biggest gift has been this guy,
who has instantly rocketed his way into my permanent collection of Favorite Fictional Men.
If you haven’t seen The Man U.N.C.L.E. yet, stop punishing yourself and go immediately.