Sam Heughan WHO? Yes, you heard me right, it’s time to talk about the other third of the Outlander love triangle and his name is Tobias Menzies and he is GORGE. Ok, so maybe we’re TOBIASED. See what we did there, but it’s true. Sam is great and all if you’re into that toned, longed haired, flawless Ken doll type (ok, fine he’s great too) but it’s time to talk about a real man and that real man is TOBIAS.
Why are we Tobiased for Tobias Menzies?
When you think it’s just going to be a hangout with friends and you show up in a ripped T and jeans with a beanie and yesterday’s make up and dirty hair Tobias shows up like this. WITH a bottle of wine, like a fucking gentlemen.
He Was Edmure Tulley
He was sorta terrible at everything, couldn’t light his father’s funeral pyre/boat on fire correctly, couldn’t help bring peace to the Kingdom, couldn’t bring the Riverlands together and couldn’t figure out what Lord Frey was up to before it was WAY too late. Oh well, we barely knew ye Edmure but ye made way for Jack Randall. So uh, thanks for that George RR Martin.
Tobias can cut a rug
He’s prime material for weddings, nephew’s bar mitzvahs, your aunties 67th birthday at the bingo hall and that charity auction dance-a-thon in the gym of your parent’s church. He’s got the movies, the time and the wallet to give to charity.
He MIGHT play the guitar
See he’s holding it and he’s got the G chord down from the looks of it, so maybe he really can play. And looks OH so BritPop while doing it. Move over Jarvis and Damian and Liam and Richard, there’s a new close cropped, bumbled Brit type with a guitar. If this is true, it’s just not fair to lady-kind everywhere.
One Man Show
Because he doesn’t have enough work on his plate and theater seems like a vacation to him, Tobias will be undertaking a ONE MAN show called The Fever during the Outlander hiatus. Did I mention it’s takes place IN A HOTEL SUITE. No theater, no stage. A HOTEL SUITE.
I’m still having a hard time comprehending that one. Don’t hyperventilate too long because if you’re like us you only just realized he was doing this and all 28 dates are already sold out. Ya know cause we had $1200 (for a ticket!!!) + airfare + money for gags (clearly we’d be talking and breathing heavily during the show) to spend on this. Not that we wouldn’t totally give you free PR and stand in the closet (ups the voyeurism aspect) to see this Almeida Theater, if you’re reading!!!!! Cause you do.
So again I ask you: Sam Heughan, WHO? AMIRIGHT?! If you’re entranced now or you have been… take a seat, this will probably be an ongoing thing here.
Share your fave Tobias Menzies GIF/Picture whatever with the class in the comments.