To kick it off right, I’m going to introduce my favorite Kiwi (um, besides Karl Urban), the short track speed skater, Blake Skjellerup. Even though Blake isn’t for sure in the Games (he’s currently first alternate for 500m, but we’ll know next week if he’s in officially!), I wanted to feature him first because, well, 1) he has the most amazing abs ever and 2) he’s representing for the community that Russia is failing. After the 2010 Vancouver Games, Blake came out publicly and has been sociopolitically engaged ever since. He was even in the CNN documentary “Journey of a Gay Athlete” with American athletes Robbie Rogers and Brittney Griner. If you’ve been in a bubble and have no clue wtf I’m even talking about, read about Russia’s anti-homosexuality propaganda laws here.
But enough of the politics and onto the abs!
Blake Skjellerup (NZ) – Short Track
And my favorite, Blake’s adorable smile and bonus KITTENS!
But let’s move on to the speed skating, because the Olympics aren’t just about being adorable with kittens, you know. If you’re wondering the difference between short track and speed skating, well, there’s a few, but the quickest way to tell is helmets. Short Track is determined by elimination, so you’re never really racing your own time, you’re always racing the people around you. Things move fast and can crash out of control quickly, so helmets and slice-proof gloves are required. Speed Skating on the other hand is a best time wins race format. This is the one where the skaters are all suited up in what looks like super thin scuba gear. Historically, Short Track was introduced as a competitive Olympic sport in 1992, whereas Speed Skating made its debut in the first Winter Olympics in 1924. For both events, the athletes are referred to as ‘speed skaters’. Some of the athletes crossover events, but I’ve listed them here in their “best” or “preferred” events.
The American speed skater Shani Davis is going for a third repeat of GOLD for the 1,000 meters in Sochi this year (woot woot!) and he’s got the sexy smile to prove it. This Chicago native is possibly competing in his final Olympics this year (athletes retire so young!), so he’s definitely worth watching. Dude is a legend!
Shani Davis (USA) – Speed Skating
Um, did I mention that Shani holds three world records for speed skating, including leading the Adelskalender? Because he has since 2009.
Dude is IN IT! I love this intensity:
If you still had questions as to why you should be cheering for Shani, Buzzfeed breaks it down for you here. And yes, his gorgeous smile is in fact one of their reasons.
But Shani has some serious competition, and not just on the ice at Sochi but also on this blog post, with the veteran Dutch speed skater, Mark Tuitert. This 33 year old has 3 Olympic medals, including the gold in the 1,500m from Vancouver 2010. He also has the sexiest hair of any athlete I’ve seen. I can’t help but imagine running my fingers through those disheveled Dutch locks! Unf. Netherlands! Why do you produce such beautiful men so consistently and yet I don’t live within your borders?!
Mark Tuitert (NED) – Speed Skater
Don’t let the hipster sweater and high gloss white IKEA furniture fool you, Mark’s apparently a huge hard rock and grunge fan, loving on Metallica and Rage.
Of course he’s also a model…
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Oh yeah, and he’s a DILF:
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To wrap up the speed skaters, I want to introduce you to the Quebecois short track competitor, Olivier Jean. Olivier is best known for his dreadlocks and affinity for reggae, but it appears he’s lopped off the dreads prior to Sochi.
Olivier Jean (CAN) – Short Track
For real though, the dreads were a thing:
But his lovely ginger beard remains. Love me a ginger! Especially one who’s a francophone… But Olivier’s record is noteworthy too, since he won Gold in Vancouver for the 5000m Relay. He’s also racked up quite a few gold medals at the World Championships.
I realize that Figure Skating isn’t often paired with the concept of “sexy,” but Robin Szolkowy flips that stereotype on its head as long time Pairs skater for Germany. Robin started skating at age 4 and switched to Pairs when he was 16. He and his current partner, Aliona Savchenko, have been skating together since 2003.
Robin Szolkowy (GER) – Figure Skating, Pairs
Sure, this photo is a little awkward, but the way his pants fit? Not awkward at all!
Winning! Quite literally, too, at the 2009 World Championships. They also won gold at the 2008, 2011, and 2012 World Championships and placed Bronze at Vancouver Olympics. So this time, Robin wants that Olympic gold!
Robin even rocks some plaid, and who can resist a man in plaid?
Short Track events begin on February 10th
Speed Skating events begin on February 8th
Figure Skating, Pairs events begin on February 11th
Be sure to tune in next Friday when Katy tackles the slopes, featuring skiing and snowboarding athletes. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty stoked!
What about you? Which events and athletes are you most excited to see in Sochi? Anyone else bummed that Evan Lysacek got injured and can’t compete?