Sorry this recap is a little late ladies and gents. It’s late because I kept hoping this episode would somehow get more exciting. Nope, didn’t happen. I’m scared this season just might be a dud.
You call that drama?
You know that ABC is stretching for material when their big drama for the week is that Ben is trying to spend a lot of time with Des. Yes, that’s the drama. Michael and Mikey think that, you guessed it, Ben is here for the wrong reasons. And while I agree that Ben is rocking the smarmy politician vibe, all they have to accuse him is that he talks about his son a lot and interrupts guys to steal Des away. Guys, you do remember you signed up for a dating show where 25 guys COMPETE for the love of ONE woman, right? But we do see that Mikey and Michael (I smell a bromance in the works) are very passionate guys. Or maybe they’ve just been hitting the steroids a little too much, can we say “misplaced anger issues”?
Why ABC? Why? My ears will never be able to unhear the atrocity of a “rap” song that they created on the first group date. And Soulja Boy’s career will probably never recover. I suggest that he go into hiding immediately to avoid the public shaming. Really the only two things you need to know about this video is that it was awful and Brandon had to go pantless and shake his junk in Des’s face. Nothing says romance like junk in your face!
Over-sharing on the first date
Just say no to the over-share. ESPECIALLY on the first date! Bryden tells Des all about the horrible car accident he was in that changed his life. This is fine. But then he pulls out pictures. What? Why do you have pictures with you on your first date with this girl? (Thank you Bachelorette producers.) Not only are their photos of the totaled car but close ups of all of his injuries! He’s lucky she didn’t toss her cookies all over him!
Then there’s Brandon…oh Brandon. You have quite the heartbreak story, dad left, mom’s a drug addict, and it just keeps going. I’m sure this has made you an incredibly strong and deep person. But NOT ON THE FIRST date, in fact it wasn’t even a one on one date, it was five minutes during a cocktail party on a group date. Again just say no to the over-share!
Luckily it looks like there’s going to be some real drama next week when it is revealed that one of the guys has a girlfriend! And what’s even better is that we get to see her sock it to him on national TV! Can’t wait!
Written by Paige
Paige’s Current Obsessions: Diet coke, Taylor Swift, Vampire Diaries (Damon and Elena), yoga pants, Jeniffer Garner and Ben Affleck, the Kind Campaign, girl crushes (I like boys.), Possessionista, One Piece (my onesie of choice), Kenya, The Voice, Bachelor break-downs, crying to the Les Miz soundtrack, Lil Bub and Scientology conspiracy theories.