Today’s post is brought to you by Bekah & Nikki who used to do a whole lot of “Breaking it Down Vanity Fair Style” (it’s a long story) over on another site under some weird pseudonyms. And we miss it. So we’re using Downton Abbey as an excuse to have long fun chats about really important topics. We can call this a break down or we can call this a bit of fangirling between friends, whatever it is.. it’s us really needing to talk about the beauty that is Matthew Crawley and the Dowager Countess who wins all the awards. Season 3 episode 1 & 2 spoilers ahead (but no further)
We turned on the Season 3 Premiere of Downton Abbey Sunday night having successful avoiding spoilers of the season from our friends who watched it along with the UK, ready to dive right into the drama of Matthew & Mary, Bates and Anna, Lord Gratham and whomever he’s flirting with, Daisy and whichever poor chap falls for her this time and whoever else they dream up to fill our Sunday nights with glee. And we were NOT dissapointed. Here are our High-points from the premiere as well as a couple things we really wish hadn’t happened..
Dowager Countess and everything she said
Especially this line:
said right after someone (it may have been Mrs. Levinson) remarked that the “black tie” attire Lord Gratham & Matthew Crawley wore made it look like Downton Abbey was throwing a barbeque. All the LOLs…
Then there was this:
Violet: When I’m with her, I’m reminded of the virtues of the English.
Matthew: Isn’t she American?
Dowager and Mrs Levinson’s (Cora’s Mom)
The battle royale of words between the English and the Americans, reminded us of East Coast/West Coast throw down’s of the 90’s. We really hope Suge Knight makes a guest appearance and holds Carson by his ankles ovff the 2nd floor balcony.
Wink to American girls and their age-old love affair with English boys.
The American maid isn’t at Downton for two seconds when she’s already head over heels for the tall (nerdy, natch) English boy with an accent and ginger hair. Oh we love you gingers from that great isle.
Carson having a gay-mother-of-the-bride moment
When he first saw Mary coming down the steps in her wedding gown, our heart melted a little at Carson’s reaction (way to up-stage dad, Carson!) We tried to pass him a tissue but the glass on our TV was too thick.
The budding Bromance between Tom (<— formerly known as Branson) and Matthew is almost enough to make us forget that the romance was lacking for others in this season premiere (see our lows below) We sure hope the season is full of these two bro-in-laws corresponding back and forth by mail, swapping stories of their wives and advice on how to “please” them. We mean pleasure in a chaste kind of way (what soap does she like, what can they do to keep them connected to home) but we’ll take the non-chaste kind too. [Tom and Matthew swapping bedroom stories about Mary and Sybil fan fiction idea anyone? You’re welcome]
We’re declaring this season the year of Edith
First, she has a date to the wedding, then ol Sir Anthony proposes and duh he has his own motor and a ton of cash. Their house will probably be blessedly non-confrontational. Also, we loved Edith being the only virgin in the room during the “sex” talk.
Even you, our dear Downton Abbey, aren’t perfect. Here are some things we wish that were not of the season 3 premiere:
Lady Cock Block on Matthew and Mary’s Wedding Night
We weren’t expecting Harlequin Romance novel-worthy scenes, but throw us a bone, at least a leg hitch or Matthew’s pasty, pale thigh!
We went from a nice bedroom moment the night before the wedding, to a beautiful walk down the aisle and first glance at each other and then SUDDENLY they’re returning from their honeymoon 3 weeks later in a motor?
This was reminiscent of another infamous “fade to black/sad” moment in cinematic history. We didn’t know Summit was the production company behind Downton and brought in Stephenie Meyer to write the scene with Julian Fellows. THANKS A LOT GUYS.
O’Brien and Thomas have gone from gay BFF’s to frenemies in an off season.
We are confused at the sudden bad-blood between these two. Was it the love affair with the wounded solider who died that left a starched evening shirt shaped hole in Thomas’ heart or that shitty flour business gone bad that soured the friendship? We’re not sure, but watch out downstairs– this isn’t going to be pretty.
Branson possibly having a bit of bi-polar disorder at his first holiday with the in-laws.
We get that you’re a rebel, journalist of the people and all, but would it kill you to put on a dinner jacket at your snooty in-laws dinner table? “Do you hear the people sing” blah blah blah.. We get it. Get the potato out of your undies for a couple evening dinners.
Branson possibly shrunk in the wash and is now 5’2″. Hard to stick up to your bougie in-laws when you have to stand on a footstool…
The Mary & Matthew fight
Okay…. now that they’re married & have bedded each other, we can see where the Matthew-Mary drama is headed. Matthew is trying to do the right thing by Lavinia at the expense of Downton Abbey and Mary only cares about the money. We know how this is going to end– Mary is going to hold out in the bedroom until Matthew gives in (something OF COURSE we’ll never get to see). Mary’s shallowness was at a whole new level this episode & one of our tweets explained why:
Said best by another tweet from Sunday night
And what is UP with her pregnancy clothes. We know getting knocked up was some kind of shameful thing back then, but all we hear is, “I’m with child, oh I know what fabric would make me look awesome, VELVET!” – Said no pregnant woman EVER.
Mr. Bates, Mr. Bates, Mr. Bates
What is this story line? Either kill your celly and bust outta jail or someone needs to exhume a body a la Days of our Lives and acquit him of this dumb story line. Mostly so we can get a reunion sex scene between Anna and Bates, since we got some sweet sweet Bates loving last season. We need more pasty Bates body in our lives. Or at the very least a conjugal visit. COME ON.
That was it! Our Highs & Lows of Episode 1 (and 2)
What did you think? Was it everything you dreamed? Were you disappointed in the oddly cut wedding to post-honeymoon Matthew-Mary scene?
No Season 3 spoilers please in the comments!
sex talk Gifs (you’re welcome for braving the spoilers on tumblr to bring those to you)