Currently obsessed with watching bad tv, having abrasive political opinions, always being right and getting the biggest laugh. She has a husband, 3 kids and a dog. You can probably find an accurate portrayal of her family by Googling “stereotypical white middle class family.” Follow her on Twitter @HeidiRochelle
The next morning the final dates were done and Bachelor Ben seemed no closer to being ready to make a decision than he was ten weeks ago when we started these shenanigans. He kept referring to himself as “physically lost” but I’m pretty sure he meant metaphorically lost otherwise he should just go to the hotel lobby and get a map from the concierge.
Imagine if you will having that girl’s night but everyone who attends is an attention starved extrovert who used to date the same guy. Voila, you have the Women Tell All episode of The Bachelor. It’s a disaster.
Usually by the time the fantasy suites date of The Bachelor roll around I have checked out and just want to have my Monday nights back, but this season I am all in. I drank the Kool-Aid. My eyes are barely rolling anymore, guys. They’re too busy staring in abject horror at the disaster taking place on screen. It’s so bad, it’s good.
With only 6 women remaining this season things are getting downright respectable around here. I mean, only 6 girlfriends? At this point Ben could fit all of his women in a single minivan for a trip around his hometown if he so desired.
While former Bachelor farmer Chris Soules caucused in a corn field, our current Bachelor in Chief, Ben Higgins, was headed to Mexico where presidents are elected via wet t-shirt contest at Señor Frog’s. After exploring the local sites at exotic locations like a Spanish classroom and a grocery market, Ben would clear the field of wifely candidates from 11 to a more manageable single digit. He’ll be able to count all of his girlfriends on only two hands now, so let’s clap as that glass ceiling shatters.
There was a hot tub sitting in the middle of an empty field. In what world is that romantic and can you promise I never have to live in it? Ladies, if a man takes you to a hot tub in the middle of nowhere in real life, he is going to murder you.