Currently obsessed with watching bad tv, having abrasive political opinions, always being right and getting the biggest laugh. She has a husband, 3 kids and a dog. You can probably find an accurate portrayal of her family by Googling “stereotypical white middle class family.” Follow her on Twitter @HeidiRochelle
We are only days away from the Monday night premiere of Rachel Lindsay’s journey on The Bachelorette. So like any perfectly stable married mother of three, I have been frantically refreshing the cast bio page at an alarming pace so that I could begin my extensive stalking research for the That’s Normal’s Fantasy League.
The Bachelor has taught us is that a lot can happen in 3 years. Specifically that given a good haircut, a gym membership and the right lighting, even a dorky software salesmen from Wisconsin can fool us into caring about his love life.
Vanessa wears cold weather gear like a Canadian princess and even managed to make the one-size-fits-all bathing suit look good when Nick took her to ice bathing. Luckily he wore matching blue briefs. Let’s just say I think they’ll enjoy couples waxing appointments if they end up together.
When the main asset of this season’s bachelor is that he looks good shirtless, you really need to rethink sticking him above the Artic Circle in the middle of winter.
It should come as no secret that I would trade places with one of the contestants on The Bachelor for a few days. Who wouldn’t take a Caribbean vacation for the low cost of your dignity and the chance at being turned into a gif? Put me in, coach!
The Bachelor’s top moments from Nick’s fourth week on his journey to find “true love” (and definitely not a modeling contract.) #AlternativeFacts