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Oh, did The Crown come out a month ago, and I’m still working on recap for episode 3? HAHAHAHA. That’s what they get for dropping ten episodes during the holidays. You can look at it as lazy coverage, or as prolonged reminders that you can still watch The Crown RIGHT NOW ON NETFLIX.
Let’s to it.
This cold open from 1936 reminds me of three things: those royal corgis making me think about Lilah Pace novels again, how much I want a cute bike for Christmas (but definitely won’t get it), and that episode of Seinfeld when Elaine eats that piece of The Duke of Windsor’s cake even though it was 60 years old and bedazzled.
10-year-old Elizabeth is already so seemingly wise. My youngest daughter is ten, and the most responsibility she shoulders is making sure I have someone to snuggle with from 7-8am every morning.
Finally we are dropped into Elizabeth’s reign, and what that really means for her interpersonal relationships. And what we find out is that everyone that shows deference to her is manipulating her, and the one person who doesn’t can’t get an edge in.
The dynamics of a powerful women with a high-profile job leaving to get to it while her husband stays home with a Hoover running and workmen finishing up the redecorating is such a switch from what we assume is the duty and custom and old fashioned inner workings of the royal family.
But even the LOVE EYES FROM THE GARDEN WINDOW … because who doesn’t love a man in a sweater vest … really aren’t enough to stem the coming tide. Of course, we know ahead of time what the outcome of this little tête-à-tête over Clarence House and the family name is going to be, so the tension resides only in how Elizabeth and Phillip deal with it and with one another.
As proud as I am of Elizabeth standing up to Churchill, in her fight with Phillip I appreciate even more that she doesn’t buckle, and doesn’t apologize. It IS her decision, and she won’t apologize for it.
Each episode seems like it has a revolving door of dudes circling around Elizabeth. Some appear more than others, but this episode it’s Tommy, Churchill, Phillip, Old Willoughby (Greg Wise) and the less-than-avuncular Duke of Winsdor.
This prick, I swear, stepping off the Titanic to enjoy the flashbulbs and the crowds and … making speeches. Oh the irony. And while he tries to be conciliatory with his mother, Queen Mary, when he goes to see her in Dorian Gray’s parlor, he continually comes off as a baby and a brat throughout the entire episode.
He needs money, he needs attention, he needs his wife to have an HRH, he needs a do-over. Too bad, Davey. I really believe that the Duke and Duchess of Windsor loved one another very deeply. I think that’s evident. I also think they were selfish whiny tit babies.
These women, heavens. It’s almost as if Elizabeth somehow was granted a reprieve from being like her grandmother, mother and sister. All three of them are scheming and grudge holding and cast iron bitches, and Elizabeth is over here just trying to make her husband smile at the theatre.
Let’s start with the mums. The Queen Mother is holding onto her grudge against the Duke of Windsor like it’s the only thing keeping her girdle cinched. Likewise Queen Mary is about as unsubtle attacking him as she was telling Elizabeth that being queen was more important than keeping her husband even remotely happy.
The Queens and Tommy going around Elizabeth directly the prime minister is CALCULATING AF. Texas Instruments has nothing on the queen mothers.
And Margaret. Girl is scheming on a married man that, let’s be honest, is in no way near as hot as her. I was super glad Margaret and Peter’s hushed weirdness was broken in on by Phillip. It was getting intimate and gross, and even though it looks like Pete pooped his pants a bit in the end, I have no sympathies for this relationship.
The love montage between the three couples proved this to me. Margaret’s little escape to rendezvous should have been scandalous and hot, but blergh …she looks desperate. Maybe have a one track mind, but I only have room in my heart for one love affair per show. And it’s for Elizabeth’s gingham peter pan collars, and her adorable encyclopedic knowledge about dog breeds.
I’m constantly wondering if the food they are eating is real … as in, a real facsimile of the royal menus, and if so, are those vinegar boiled eggs with tomatoes for breakfast and does the queen really tear her bread before buttering? I should read a royal expose.
Also: THE SETS IN THIS SHOW. Lord.
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