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If the recent death of George Michael on Christmas Day (is NOTHING sacred, 2016?) wasn’t bad enough, throw in the incredibly recent and painful death of female sci-fi icon and role model Carrie Fisher on Tuesday and this festering turd of a year is ready to be put on a shelf and only remembered via Facebook “memories” and “remember when 2016 killed everyone and we elected a clown for president who ushered in the nuclear winter?” stories.
Clearly, this 2016 list could be filled with soul-crushing reminders of 365 days of awful events but sometimes you gotta laugh through the pain, with that in mind we bring you some of the worst moments of our TN 2016!
July was a dark, dark month but not for the normal reasons like the release of Pokemon Go or Suicide Squad hitting theaters but because of Taylor Swift’s 4th of July Party. The totally NOT staged photo op featuring Taylor and Tom Hiddleston kissing in June should have been the air raid siren warning we needed that Tom Hiddleston had jumped the shark of our hearts, but the reveal of his “I Heart TS” shirt on the 4th and the barrage of totally NOT staged patriotic photos told us he was basic AF.
Ryan Reynolds is all of us.
Apple’s iOS 10 update ruined my life. I’m old (43!) and muscle memory is hard to forge. Apple now wants me to hit the Home button to unlock my iPhone? Like, physically press the Home button? Eat me, Apple.
What troll focus group from hell told @Apple it would be good to ditch swiping for pushing that damned button to wake up your iPhone?
— Joy Reid (@JoyAnnReid) October 16, 2016
Reese Witherspoon decided to talk about books she likes, some of them overlapped with mine, and then she PRODUCED AND STARRED in an adaptation of a good one. Thankfully, in 2017, I hear that the movie is never as good as the book.
But truly my worst moment was the surprise and rushed ending of Penny Dreadful. Every season of that show is amazing, and season 3 was taking it to a whole other level of incredible. Every actor – especially Eva Green – was killing it. Every character was growing into new versions of themselves, and then BAM! THE END.
I’ve never been so shocked and disappointed. Hoping this can live on in some way (film, Netflix, even the comic book but blah that’s not good enough), but as most cancelled television shows and reanimated corpses tell us – they never come back to life the way you want them too. RIP, Penny Dreadful.
Fifth Harmony’s hit song Work From Home made turning on pop radio a game of Russian roulette. Will I hear the sweet serenade of Justin Timberlake not being able to stop the music or Ed Sheeran pronouncing the word “sixth” strangely? No, I’ll hear five talented and accomplished women singing about working from home. But they don’t mean actual work. They mean waiting around for their man to get off the night shift so that he can be “the boss at home”. My feminist bones hurt.
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Just…all of it. I adore Harry Potter, and I can’t believe I had to read that plot with my own two eyes.
Here in Texas, college football is a church we all attend on Saturday. I am a proud Oklahoma State Cowboy…Go Pokes! But, our coach, Mike Gundy single handedly tried to bring back the mullet this season. Watching him every week was p-a-i-n-f-u-l! Needless to say, he broke my achy-breaky heart.
I wanted to be excited about the news that there may be another Sex and the City movie, but that trash dumpster fire they called a sequel complete with ethnic and religious stereotypes, first world problems, and horrible character development made me want to find Carrie Bradshaw in her pink tutu and Manolo Blahniks and push her in down into a sewer grate.
I wrote about it here. Literally, the worst thing that happened to me in 2016.
The worst parts of 2016 for me were the election heard round the world, plus the grim reaper who came and removed way too many icons of my childhood. There are too many to list, but there are no less than 25 cinematic, musical or literary favorites that are now gone, and I think what bothers me most is that it means I am not young any longer. I know my kids think I am old (I am only 38), but I really don’t feel it most of the time, and then all of a sudden someone who I feel is a cherished and beloved part of my life dies… and 2016 was a doozy in that department.