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Recently it’s been brought to my attention that arriving at a party without a hostess gift is apparently the most incredibly rude thing you can do, possibly ever. I would quickly retort to that with, “No actually, telling someone that they should have brought you a hostess gift is the rudest thing you can do, possibly ever.” Not only does it make said person who, you know, just schlepped across town to attend your party, feel like utter crap, it also insinuates that you only threw a party in order to receive a hostess gift.
And before you tell me, “Just bring some wine,” I say to you, first, not everyone drinks wine. Second, when someone did bring me wine as a hostess gift, it was shitty wine I didn’t want and promptly re-gifted to someone else who didn’t want it, who then re-gifted it. I have no certain proof, but I guarantee that particular bottle of grocery store rosé is still unopened somewhere in a pantry in the continental US. So, no, wine is not acceptable unless it’s the type of wine that shouldn’t be opened for 15 years.
Take it from the experts back in 1994…
Folks, the Peach Candle has spoken. It is time to STOP IT ALREADY with this obligatory gifting. Consumerism has driven us into moral and ethical downward spirals of moving factory jobs off shore to child labor and inhumane working conditions. It has caused an uptick in societal depression and anxiety. Do we really, really need to keep giving each other hostess gifts that we actually don’t really even want or use?
I say no. Let’s commit to not giving hostess gifts any longer at parties.
Seriously, we are rarely talking these days… always texts, Twitter, Facebook, gchat. When was the last real phone conversation you had with a friend? So with that all said, isn’t just showing up to someone’s party so that they could actually have the party sufficient? I mean, hosting a party is a lot of work, but the people who always throw them seem to really enjoy that work because they like hosting parties. But it’s not a party if nobody shows up.
It’s way easier to stay home, pour some wine, and snuggle up with Netflix than to go out. To go out, you have to make yourself totally presentable, bust out Google maps because you can’t remember where your friend lives or what the least trafficky way to get there is, physically drive or train or Uber it there, and then make conversation with random people all evening. Party going is a lot of effort. Fun, sure. But effort. Your presence should be present enough.
Continuing on that note, parties should be about humans and socializing, not about stuff! Not to mention ain’t nobody got space for a bunch of extra crap in their house! I don’t care if you are me living in a tiny-ass apartment or someone with a five bedroom, three-car garage in Kansas. You don’t have space for crap!
I would even go so far as to say that if you bring me a hostess gift, I’m going to think you are rude for doing so. Do you not see that my closets are literally full to the brim with my every day use stuff? Do you not see my under the bed storage? Do you not see how my kitchen has hanging racks to store my pans because there isn’t enough room in my cabinets?! Don’t bring me crap!
I realize some people just love giving hostess gifts (eye roll — do you really though?), and that committing to not bringing one would be painful to your soul. So, I’ll give some exceptions:
Otherwise, let’s just drop the re-gifting of crap. What do you say?