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Chances are if you’re reading this, you clicked on this post because you saw Outlander in the title. And even greater chances are you are a fan who may or may not have a Google alert set for “Outlander Season 3”. Well, this past week, your Google alert buzzed like it never buzzed before. (If you don’t count those endless alerts about fan-made trailers and EW
Poopy Poppy Awards announcements.)
In an effort to remind you that your existence on Sunday nights will belong to Starz and Ron D. Moore, Outlander rolled out a week of third season announcements and previews. First, there was casting news. Then there was more casting news about characters you completely forgot were in Voyager. Then there was a magazine cover. And finally, there was another casting announcement that made me question if I did actually read the book.
Of course, none of these announcements addressed my letter writing campaign request to bring Stanley Webber’s Comte St. Germain back from the dead.
Whatever. I guess I’ll still watch.
Warning: If you haven’t read Voyager, there’s some spoilers in this post. Read the book, dammit.
Let me guess what you did the minute you saw this tweet:
— Entertainment Weekly (@EW) September 29, 2016
You scoured every magazine rack in every store in your city because you were a huge Tony and Angela shipper back in the day?
Or you saw brooding Sam Heughan and his, ahem, peaks covered in sweat, blood, and dirt and lost your shit. Yeah, I’m going with this one. (No offense, Who’s the Boss fans.)
So, remember last season and how every episode mentioned the Battle of Culloden? Remember how almost all thirteen episodes were devoted to Jamie and Claire trying to change the course of history, failing because you can’t change the past, and preparing to go into a battle both knew the entire country would lose? Remember when the season ended and there was no battle?
Well, the cover and the preview pictures are here to say, “Surprise! You do get to see the slaughter of the highlanders! And as an added bonus, you also get Sam Heughan looking like a barista made his latte with 2% milk instead of nonfat!”
We see you, Tobias. Never leave us. Never.
The magazine also gave fans this tidbit of Caitriona Balfe, reminding fans that the show isn’t just about Sam Heughan and his ever changing hair:
This could be either Claire at the very first Coachella concert, Jamie imagining his time traveling wife walking among the fallen highlanders, or Claire’s voiceover narration is so powerful, it manifested into a Claire apparition, Obi-Won Kenobi style.
But who will be joining the Fraser clan in season 3? Whose name will appear among opening credits of Claire licking urine samples and Jamie’s naked _______________________ ? (This could be back, leg, upper right ass cheek – the possibilities are endless.)
Here’s a quick rundown of who’s next to be the subject of watermarked Outlander fan art.
Let us take a moment to remember the hotness and the hate-eff me stares of Stanley Webber.
RIP, Monsieur DTF.
Yet Outlander knows that you need another Frenchman to lust after, and they refuse to wait for Romann Berrux’s voice to break. Get ready to say bonjour to Cesar Domboy as adult Fergus.
— Karin (@bluekako) September 29, 2016
In the previous season, we saw young Fergus start as a young, artful pickpocket, loyal to the Frasers and their cause. This season, we get to see the boy become a man, even a husband; but it’s Fergus’s steadfast dedication to Jamie that makes us love Fergus even more, even if that loyalty comes at a price.
Sure, I could run down a list of Domboy’s acting credits in French films and that one Joseph Gordon Levitt tightrope walking film that I’m sure you saw…in theaters…paying full matinee price. Just kidding.
A photo posted by César Domboy (@cesardomboy) on
Or I could let you lust after him. I like that option better.
First, let us start with his last name, Domboy, which makes him sound like a dom in training, looking for a woman to submit to his will. I selflessly volunteer as tribute. Second, he looks like one of those French foreign exchange students you lusted for in high school and fantasized about teaching you how to actually French kiss.
And third? If he could make a 1999 Levi light blue jean jacket look hot, imagine what he could do in breeches.
Nothing is more awkward than walking in on your parents having sex, unless you walk in on the man you considered your father going down on a woman who is not your mother.
Welcome to Marsali MacKimmie’s world.
As the daughter of shirt-sniffer Laoghaire, Marsali is like any other 15 year old girl: stubborn, rebellious, gives up her flower to a Frenchman…y’know the typical teenager.
I’ll admit it: when I first read about Marsali in Voyager, I was annoyed by her not because she was naive or even recalcitrant towards her stepfather – that’s right: stepfather – Jamie and the bane of her mother’s existence, Claire. She annoyed me because it was another reminder that Laoghaire will never go away. However, unlike her mother, I actually grew to like Marsali especially after her fight with Jamie about her love for Fergus:
“He [Fergus] is a bastard and a criminal,” Jamie pointed out. “And a cripple wi’ no property, either, as I’m sure your mother noticed.”
“I dinna care!” Marsali gripped Fergus’s hand and looked at him with fierce affection. “I want him.”
Now that’s bad ass.
And stepping into the role as the high-spirited teen is British actress and Nell Hudson look-a-like, Lauren Lyle. Sweet Lord, they even have the same teeth.
— Nell Hudson (@nellrosehudson) October 4, 2016
Quite honestly, whoever made this casting decision needs to get a big, fat raise for finding an actress who actually looks like she’s related to the person playing her mother. Ahem, Brianna.
But let’s just take one moment and talk to sweet, sweet Lauren:
Welcome to the cast! We’re sure you’re going to do a great job!
In fact, we’re so sure, that we’re also sure that you’ll receive threats from fans about treating Claire with respect, or that you don’t deserve Fergus, or that they wish the boat would sink and you would drown with it.
Also, be prepared for the onslaught of cupcakes in the shape of standing stones, “art” of your face superimposed over Nell Hudson’s face, and the campaigns to nominate you for awards you never thought existed.
It’s going to be great!
P.S. If you’re acquainted with William Shatner in any way shape or form and fans find out, may God protect you.
Okay, go ahead and revoke my nonexistent Outlander fan card now: I totally forgot about Joe Abernathy.
But then I looked back and although he appears in only the beginning of Voyager, his role in Claire’s life has a far bigger impact. As Claire’s only friend in the 20th century, Joe serves as a refuge for Claire from her world of Frank and their loveless marriage. As the only African-American intern in a predominately white male medical program, Joe feels a kinship to Claire, the only female intern. Their platonic relationship grows throughout the years and it is Joe who consoles Claire after Frank’s death.
It’s also Joe who first acknowledges Brianna’s real father:
“I’ve known Bree how long? Ten years, at least. She’s got a lot of you in her, L. J., but I’ve never seen anything of Frank. Daddy’s got red hair, huh? And he’s one big son of a bitch, or everything I learned in Genetics 101 was a damn lie.”
Continuing Outlander’s tradition of casting Brits to play Americans, British actor Wil Johnson is scrubbing in as Joe. If you’re scratching your head wondering who he is, you more than likely don’t have BBC One through your local service provider. Along with bit parts in television, Johnson stared in the popular British crime drama, Waking the Dead and worked on stage in productions of Othello and King Lear.
Good ol’ Wil’s other job? He’s a DJ. I fully expect a “Skye Boat Song” (Remix) on the next Outlander soundtrack.
Congratulations, John Bell. Diana Gabaldon has blessed thee:
He's Great! Even in the sixty seconds I've seen of him so far… https://t.co/dGgInTbLfJ
— Diana Gabaldon (@Writer_DG) October 5, 2016
The young Scottish actor takes on the role of the beloved Young Ian Murray, nephew of Jamie Fraser. In Voyager, Young Ian is perhaps has one of the biggest supporting roles, a role that continues to grow throughout the rest of the series. We are there when Young Ian is born, when he kills his first man, when he loses his virginity, and when he is kidnapped. And that’s not even all of his storylines in Voyager.
In my opinion, Bell has one of the most daunting tasks: bringing Young Ian to life and making us remember why we love him. For some of us, as the books progress our
horniness love for Jamie Fraser has been challenged by our feelings for Young Ian, who isn’t so young anymore if you catch my cougar drift.
But this isn’t Bell’s first fandom rodeo: the young actor appeared in the last two Hobbit films, which means you don’t have to choose who to dress up for when you go to fandom conventions! You can now wear both your Hobbit feet and your Claire arm warmers! Thanks for continuing to bridge that gap we thought we lost when Graham McTavish was killed off the show, John Bell!
— John Bell (@JohnBell) October 3, 2016
And here’s some trivia for your next Outlander themed dinner party: one of Bell’s first acting gigs? Guest starring on Doctor Who. Who also likes Doctor Who and essentially created an entire series when she was inspired by an episode?
You’re in an Outlander timeout if you answered Meril.