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Today I want to talk to you about self-pleasure.
How to do it.
When to do it.
How often to do it.
Where to do it.
And what position to be in when you engage in self-pleasure.
Of course, I’m talking about taking a little time each day to do something that brings YOU joy admist the craziness of day to day living.
(What did you think I was talking about?)
This concept of self-pleasure is new to me. I learned about it by listening to one of my favorite podcasts The Lively Show as the host, Jess Lively, talked with Alisa Vitti of Flo Living. Check out the episode here. When I first listened to this episode, this conversation FLOORED me. And I think it’s vital for ALL women and mothers (and fathers!) of little women- especially if you struggle with putting yourself first.
I can’t say the “practice” of self-pleasure is new to me (nothing I’ll mention below will completely blow your mind), but the term and focus on it in my life is new. There are things that I’ve been doing throughout my life that qualify as self pleasure, but now remembering the importance of these practices on a daily basis has become so important as I navigate my day to day life.
I am a caregiver- so many of us women are. And as wonderful as it is to give and give, we often put ourselves last. So here are some of the things I do in my life to take care of myself and embody pleasure on a daily basis:
I think I have a fairly clean and cute house. There are cats running around which ups the cuteness level big time. But there is something that happens inside me after I light a candle when I get home from work or if I’m working from my home office all day, that transforms my space. It’s the flickering light and the beautiful aroma. The joy I get from this simple act of lighting a daily candle (or 4- though I never mix scents in one room) is amazing. This is one of my favorite scents right now:
Obviously. I wouldn’t be a girl surviving my 30s without wine. I don’t eat a lot of ice cream or dessert. I always say I’d rather drink my dessert. I drink a lot of wine, more wine than my Doctor says I should. It is something for me at the end of a really stressful day (so all of them) that I can just come to and know that I’m winding my day down and that I’m relaxing my mind.
This is something that is so important to me. My house is NOT always clean. You should see the cat hair under my couch. But I do like to have a space for everything, so that at the end of each day, it’s a easy pick up to get things in decent condition. I am THAT person who fluffs her couch pillows, and never goes to bed with a dirty dish in the sink (Though the dishwasher may take a few days to be unloaded).
I also keep my veggies in little containers in the fridge
I realize I am able to live this way since I live alone and without children, but it is something that is so important to me. When my space is clean and picked up and I am multi-tasking with a ton of things, I can think clearly. Just in case you’re concerned I’m too perfect, know that I have a major problem with folding and putting clean laundry away, and I haven’t turned on my iron since 2007.
I don’t currently belong to a yoga studio as I’ve just brought yoga into my life starting this spring. Yoga has been VITAL to finding my center and focus. Plus, it’s an INCREDIBLE work out! I need to find a yoga studio come the colder months, but in the spring and summer, Philadelphia has TONS of free or cheap outdoor, river side or rooftop yoga classes I love attending.
A photo posted by Gabby B. (@gatorgabs) on
Photo I took of my friend Gabby last weekend at rooftop yoga!
Working out in general is important for me to keep my energy up, justify all that wine I DO drink and feel good and focused (can you sense a theme here…?) So even when I don’t feel like it, am on vacation or it’s too hot or cold out, I do try to make time for at least 2-3 runs per week plus yoga on the weekends.
There are things I’m not yet doing that I would love to integrate into my life:
I would love to wake up a little early, and journal and/or meditate. Maybe with yoga, or maybe with an app that tells me to shut up and ignore my mind for 10-15 minutes.
I haven’t read a book in god-knows how long (actually i know exactly how long. It was in April when I stopped reading). I DID start reading The Hating Game, our Boozy Book Club secondary book for August. But there is not much else I have been reading as I’ve felt too busy and stressed. But I had been reading 2-3 books per week for the last few years, so I miss it and want to start integrating it into my daily pleasure routine again!
Daily Self pleasure is something that is so important during the crazy moments of life, the sad times, the hard times AND the good times. To take time to remember yourself isn’t selfish. It’s SO important. You’re not going to be the best YOU unless you cherish the things that make you unique. It’s something that I am so excited that I have recognized that I’ve integrated into my life as I value the importance of each little moment and focus on something just for me in a small way each day.
Psst: if you are interested in other self pleasure (you know the kind) Here’s a really great site to get you started (ps NSFW)
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