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Seriously what is the deal with 2016? Everyone is dying and political decisions are running wild. Mandatory “How to have a real conversation with people you really don’t like at all and/or are very different from you” classes should be provided across the world this year. Luckily, we still have sports! You know, the Ancient Greeks’ solution to having less wars. Of course, everyone competed naked back then, but…
Anyway, to celebrate the Round of 16, aka the first knock out stage of this EURO 2016, I thought we should take a closer look at the remaining teams and their hot men. We clearly still live in a binary world, so let’s just put the men up against each other in order of the schedule. Times are given in U.S. Eastern Time.
My sis lives in Zurich and I live in a prominently Polish neighborhood, so this game is kind of a big deal, even though I’ll probably DVR it and sleep in. But that doesn’t mean I won’t watch it…
Swiss goalkeeper can tend my net whenever. He’s like a Rafa Nadal of Swiss football.
Can’t at all pronounce this Polish dude’s name, but I don’t think that matters for our coverage. He sort of reminds me of a cross between Chase and Jordan with the good hair from this season of The Bachelorette. But he’s also the #10 role, which means you’ll get to see him basically ALL of the game. Yum.
Talk about a timely matchup… Anyway, we already covered Wales, so I’m gonna just throw out two Northern Ireland men for ya…
Their forward seems quite confident with their chances against Wales and he loves to score. Take that as you will. Not sure what’s happening in the second picture, but I like it…
One for the ladies who love a bearded man! This guy and Ledley from Wales in the same game? HOT BEARDED ACTION! Also, I couldn’t NOT include this Getty picture for… reasons.
Besides GoT being shot there, and the Dalmatian Coast being gorgeous, I admittedly know very little about Croatia. My husband lurves Cristiano Ronaldo, so he’ll be cheering on Portugal. We did coverage of Ronaldo last summer, so I’m not going to list him here…
Something about this Croatian midfielder’s eyes… he’s got the cutest smile, but those eyes give him the best ever smirk. Drive me down the Dalmatian Coast, Milan!
This Portuguese forward has tall, dark and handsome down to an artform. He’s gotten an injury, so hopefully he’ll be fit for the match.
Since we already covered France, I’ll give you double the Irish! Thanks to Dubliner reader Laura for the suggestion of the ‘beaut’, Shane Long…
While we probably won’t see this forward play, his facial expressions make me LOL too much not to include him. Plus he’s got lovely facial hair.
Germany has a good team, but Slovakia looked ready to go in the group stage. If Slovakia doesn’t just “put the bus in the net”, then it could be an entertaining match. As a reminder, I covered three hot Germans who are still on the team back in the 2014 World Cup.
Okay, so maybe this twenty year old German midfielder is too young for inclusion, but he’s so adorable and I need his hair in my life. It gives me happiness. So, like, just mark him down for 2020 hotness.
It’s hard for me to cheer on dudes who shave their heads when they clearly have perfectly fabulous hair growth, but the Slovakia team seems to do this in spades, so I had to settle for a nice smile instead. Also I get so annoyed with Martin Škrtel’s dirty plays with Liverpool so much it’s literally impossible for me to include him.
You may not realize this, but Belgium is a stacked team. If only they could play as a team… right now Hungary is most famous for having the oldest player in the tournament, who also happens to love sweatpants.
So, I’m not sure if this Hungarian defender will play or not, but he’s hot. I think it’s the eyebrows.
I realize I just said I don’t like dudes who shave their heads, but you’ll notice I said ‘when they have fabulous hair growth’. This Belgian MLS player is definitely making the right choice to shave. And maybe not everyone is into baldies, but this one… unf. Those eyes. The perfect scruff growth. That lip bite. Judge me if you wish, but I’ll be in Montreal avec Laurent.
Happy birthday to my mom and husband and uncle who all share this same birthday. A couple of huge matches today from a sexy male standpoint… especially the second one of the day 😉
Buffon vs. De Gea!! This is basically my dream. Italy is said to be at its worst team for decades, while Spain is coming off the hey days of 2008-2012. So who is worth watching in this Mediterranean match-up?
Call me ridiculous, but it’s impossible not to be interested in a guy whose name is this close to being Marco Polo. He’s so deliciously Italian too… it’s like everything at once with this guy.
The Spanish centerback used to have flowing long locks and wasn’t attractive then at all, but then he cut his hair and now he’s smoking hot.
I definitely already covered both these teams. So just enjoy a couple more pics here.
Iceland’s secret weapon so far has been their 12th man. In this sea of red shirted Austria supporters, Iceland celebrates with their blue shirted fans moving forward to the Round of 16, further than their nation has ever been before! They are the cutest, right?!
So much man love among England…
Knock out round means someone goes home and they may go to penalties. So there’s plenty of action and extra time to check out these hot guys of sports. Who are you cheering for? Do you have a fantasy team? I’m open to all interpretations of the word fantasy.