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As you might know from that one time I tweeted this past month (except to yell at at&t on Twitter, the main purpose of Twitter) I binged watched Poldark recently after we covered it a few times on TN and Andee badgered me about it until I gave in (YOU WERE RIGHT ANDEE) I even BOUGHT it. Because you can’t stream it here in the US for free right now *angry face.* And I fell HARD for one Ross Poldark.
So I did what naturally comes next and I googled everything out there about him and quickly came upon some “Real Life” Aidan Turner photos like this profile picture on IMDB:
where he looks like your nice Jewish locker mate from High School. Cute, sorta annoying and a poor man’s Seth Cohen.
Then I found this photo where, it’s better, but… He looks SO eager.
He looks SO innocent! Where is the rough, gruff, open and hairy-chested man of my regency romance dreams?
Then there’s this photo where he looks like a guy killed off on season 1 of some terrible CW werewolf show from 1997:
Or a guy in a DEP gel commercial.
And THEN there was this photo where he turned his frown upside-down and all my fantasies and dreams were erased because there was the neck beard and that hair and the…. smile:
And I realized.. Maybe it’s the smile. Maybe there’s eagerness I’m seeing in Aidan because Poldark is his big break and he wants this to work out and be his time to shine. Kinda like we’ve seen with another unnamed newer star to our lives.
So I dug in deep on social media and found the Twitter account of Heida Reed who plays Elizabeth and found this:
— Heida Reed (@ReedHeida) September 15, 2015
SO MUCH IS WRONG.
His arm looks so short. How can a 6’ guy have a short arm?
Then there’s His Hair
We already Talked about His Smile
And Ugh, is that a unibrow?
I was worried.
I shared my concerns with the girls at Comic Con this weekend and was told I was being ridiculous. Nikki thought he was “cute” and looked “sweet” and I said, “THAT’S THE PROBLEM!”
ROSS POLDARK IS NOT CUTE OR SWEET.
HE IS ALLLL MAN.
HE IS DIRTY.
IN ALL THE GOOD WAYS.
So here are pictures of how I like to envision Aidan Turner at all times, to erase the eager cute smiley “sweet” photos I found at first:
Happy monday! Keep scowling hot-Irish-men-who-clearly-have-other-heritages-to-speak-of-because-most-Irish-men-are-more-Ed-Sheeran-like-than-you. Turn those upside-down-frowns back into a frown, please.