Thanks to a lovely Twitter friend I got to be one of the lucky ones to attend to advanced screening of The Fault In Our Stars. Knowing the amazing ladies at That’s Normal were looking forward to seeing it, I thought that I should prepare them with a review. Now some of them might be interested in the soundtrack (great) or book to movie translation (also good) but let’s talk about what is really important:
How many times will you cry when you see TFIOS?
The fact is a large number of moviegoers will have either read the book or read the WIKI summary in hopes of impressing your friends with knowledge of the plot (you know you’ve done it). So let’s just be honest here, the movie is about kids with cancer. You will cry. The only exception would be if you are heartless or just… me. I don’t cry. I have cried three times in the past three years. All of these times involved death, fatal illness, or puppies being released from a medical testing facility. So being a non-crying person, I feel that it is my duty to the world to let you know how many times you could possibly cry while seeing this movie. It’s a public service really.
Doing my civic duty while being served large amounts of alcohol by my waiter at the theater, I made notes so I could have an accurate count of how many times I heard sniffling and all out hyperventilating. Here is my [slightly intoxicated] analysis:
1-4 Times:
Are you a happy crier? You know the moment where you get choked up because something so absolutely perfect has happened? This movie has several of these great moments. I have to admit that when it comes to all of the depressing parts, there is plenty of hope and laughter to bring you back up again.
1-3 Times:
You know how you felt when your childhood pet died? Plan on feeling that way between one and three times. This is probably what you expected when you read the book or heard about the premise of the movie.
Just 1 Time:
There is one actual moment in the movie where I wondered if they had paramedics on hand because there were so many people in the theater on the verge of hyperventilating. It was that bad.
So, did the non-cryer cry?
Yes, I did tear up at one part. I know, let’s call it TFIOS miracle.
I do want to add a few extra thoughts for those of you genuinely concerned about the movie, other than the tears.
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The soundtrack really is great
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The teenage awkward reality that John Green is known for is there and it is great. Also, if you sit in the first or second row you can totally see Hazel and Gus’s acne.
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Awkward boob groping.
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There is no concern over the relationship transition from the actors between Divergent and TFIOS. They do a wonderful job at becoming Hazel and Gus.
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The Anne Frank house scene is so much more than it was in the book.
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Yes, the transition from book to movie was good. However, some things were cut. When I first realized I was slightly disappointed, but I think that if they had been included I would have had to sit through a three hour movie, and with the amount of drinking I had done that would have been a really bad idea.
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You will laugh. I promise. It will help to balance out the crying.
Are you going to see The Fault In Our Stars? How many boxes of tissue are you bringing?
Written by Ellie
Ellie cannot resist making a detour to visit a new library, stays up too late watching British television, and plans on hiring a professional guacamole maker upon becoming a billionaire. Her other favorites include: Canadians, mojitos, Jason Statham, Mini Coopers, poppies, and escaped koala bears. Follow her on twitter: @read_or_sleep