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I was just doing a little googling the other night and found something That’s not a thing:
Yep! Christian Sex Toys from Covenant Spice.com. Thinking the condom wrappers have Bible verses on them, and the dildo’s are shaped like crosses? Not quite. Basically it’s normal sex toys mixed with sex advice for Christians (Spoiler alert: The Bible allows BJs. Clearly the site is run by a man)
PLUS: all the toys ship in discreet USPS boxes! That way your mailman who also leads your Bible study will think you’re you’re just getting a new loaf of friendship bread sent by your friend from youth group!
Update: Not to be outdone by the Christians, our friend Zees found another site That Isn’t a Thing: Kosher Sex Toys