It’s only been 2 months since The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 released, but we hear already some of the Twilight actors are falling off the wagon. Since we’re Twilight experts we called in a few favors to bring you guys the latest news of the Twilight cast answering: Where are they now?*
Has been lobbying Congress to change the incest laws so that he can procreate with his sister.
Has been busy prepping the new Ke-Taco-Hut (Kentucky Fried Chicken/Taco Bell/Pizza Hut) chain he bought with his Twilight money.
Jealous of his success, Rami was murdered by his evil twin brother.
To no one’s surprise, Catherine is STILL shopping her ROBSTEN video around
Trying to capitalize on the SEO benefits LTT gave him for the past year, Guri is legally changing his name to Jerry.
Liz is still photo-bombing every red carpet event she can get invited to.
He makes birthday party appearances. Find him online: wwww.UsedtoBeSam.com
Just entered his 12th 3 Day Breast Cancer walk of the year
We’re not sure what JD Pardo has been up to but we know what he HASN’T done: updated his imdb profile pic
Bronson, the R Kelly of the Twilight cast, is currently starring in a viral You Tube video. Get your umbrellas ladies- golden showers ahead:
Seriously now, how many Cullen Smiles (<– a smile you have towards anything & everything Twilight-related) did you have when you watched that vid? And the CRYING. Oh how the mighty have fallen err– maybe not mighty… actually, this is probably to be expected from a “I was once a wolf with one line in a big movie” actor…
*Hopefully it goes without saying that we made all but the last one up. And probably the first one. And maybe the 8th